Entwined
by sentinel10
Summary: A lapse in judgement forces them to realise a truth about consequences. That sometimes living with the consequences is the greatest chance they'll ever get. An alternate direction in the pre/Entangled universe. Where Edward and Leah fight against fate and destiny. Angst. Slightly OOC. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: A lapse in judgement forces them to realise a truth about consequences. That sometimes living with the consequences is the greatest chance they'll ever get. An alternate direction in the pre/Entangled universe. Where Edward and Leah fight against fate and destiny.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

Author Pre-notes: If you have not read Entangled, here is a summary of what you need to know.

Edward ends the relationship with Bella before the wedding.

Jacob and Bella decide to attempt a relationship and move to Arizona and away from the Supernatural. Months after they leave together, the Volturi descend on Forks and LaPush, led by Demetri, to find Bella and turn her, had the Cullen's not kept their promise. Unfortunately, their sights were set to the Quileute Reservation after coming up empty with the human girl.

A war raged; with Colin Littlesea, Jane, Alec and Felix all becoming casualties of the war, allowing Demetri to only get out by a fingernail. During the war, Sam had abandoned the pack for his imprint, leaving Leah as Alpha and Seth as Beta. Both were injured critically. Rachel Black, a doctor, accepts Edward's help in saving the siblings, having come back to protect Bella, only to find out she was no longer in the area.

Very little will be lifted from Entangled, and will hopefully give a different insight into Leah and Edward's world.

* * *

Entwined

_verb; past tense. wind or twist together; interweave_

* * *

[ I ]

.

_Edward sits on the floor next to her cot, his legs drawn up and his forearms resting on his knees. The crisp light blue dress shirt he wears is rolled up to his elbows, his hands still stained with wolf blood._

_The female is covered in bandages and is still not breathing completely on her own. Her chest rises and falls shallowly so he sits in wait, gauging her condition while Rachel Black lays sleeping near Seth, her hands tucked under her head, exhausted from the day gone._

_Because they are alone, he can't help but stare at the wolf-girl as she lays unmoving. Her eyelashes brush against her cheek bones, fluttering slightly as her eyes unconsciously move under her lids._

_Letting his head drop, he tries to block out the barraging string of thoughts that the thrones of humans just outside the internal door throw out. Their thoughts pulsate through him, accusations and fear all ringing true. They are frightened to have him so close, to allow him to stay and help, even though he has offered nothing to have them doubt his intentions._

_Like a knife through butter, a single thought rings out, drowning the mangled chatter of the humans. It's a single ribbon, but it's so clear he swears he could almost hear her raspy voice. It whispers only two words, words he would never expect from a mortal enemy._

_'Thank you.'_

.

When Leah wakes, a slither of sunlight catches her barely open eyes.

She grimaces and presses her eyes together tightly causing a pain to throb in her temple. Her throat is dry and every part of her body hurts, not only the outside, but deep inside, as if she has been thrown from a ten-storey building and lived to tell the tale.

There's an uncomfortable pressure in her neck and chest and her fingers slowly rise to touch her face. Bandages cover a majority of the area but it's the tube leading to her mouth and down her throat that gauges the most attention. Tears prickle at her eyes when she tries to pull the tube. It seems endless as she pulls, and she feels it as it slides inside her chest, pressing into the flesh of her oesophagus.

"Honestly... so impatient," she hears a male voice mutter, before a blur of pale skin and copper hair stands by her bed. "Ms Clearwater, please lay back down, let me assist you before you hurt yourself more."

She does as she's told, even though her eyes are glassy and the image in front of her is blurred. She could swear the person looked exactly like Edward Cullen. Which would be impossible, because, well, it just was. Edward had left Forks almost a year ago, forsaking both his family and Isabella Swan.

He uses the most delicate touch and removes the tube without causing much more pain. Her throat is dry and hoarse when she tries to speak, so when she feels a straw touching her lip, she is relieved.

"Drink this first. It's a mix of essential minerals and an electrolyte enhancer. It will help with your healing abilities. And there really is no reason to speak. I can hear your thoughts now that you are awake."

She presses her lips together and slowly sips the cool liquid. It goes down easily but it feels as if there are tears in her oesophagus because it's an uncomfortable motion. She winces at the soft burn as her throat gets use to the feeling. It's not an issue considering she feels like death warmed up, though the bigger issue remains.

What was Edward doing here and why was she accepting help from a vampire? Especially _this_ one.

"You suffered a lot of internal injuries as well as external. It's going to take time to recover. Some things may take longer than usual."

_'What things?'_ she wants to ask but she still can't get her voice to work.

She blinks, trying to will away the blur behind her eyes, when she hears him huff. The world around her is still only fuzzy shapes and strange smells. Light contrasting off of light, confusing all of her vital senses at once.

"We can't be certain until we get you mobile and walking around. You were very lucky to survive," he says softly as a reply to her thoughts, something akin to concern lacing his smooth velvet voice.

_'How is everyone? The pack? Were there casualties?'_ she thinks at him, the pain in her abdomen and back flaring as she struggles to move. Panic, and the feeling of sinking engulfs her mind, causing a splitting headache. She wants to grasp her head in her hands but her arms and even fingers refuse to move again.

"Please, calm down. You'll be able to talk to the pack once you rest a bit longer. I'm going to give you a sedative to help, and some more morphine for the pain."

She remembers Jacob's reaction to morphine after the newborn war and tries to convey that she would rather go without. She had seen the absolute pain he had been in, his whole body covered in sweat, the terrible nightmares because of it.

"I promise to be here, Ms Clearwater. If you experience any adverse symptoms, I'll be sure to lower or increase the dosage to make you more comfortable. Your metabolism is still quite slow from the venom, so you shouldn't burn through it too quickly."

Leah shifts her head on the pillow, watching as his blurred shape stands beside her bed, toying with something above her head.

"Everything is being received through intravenous drip. You should feel yourself becoming tired very soon."

_'Edward, why are you helping me?'_

Another sigh.

"I'll let you sleep, now. I'll answer any questions I can, once you wake."

Before he even finishes his sentence, a world of darkness welcomes her.

.

Leah sits on the white sofa.

Bandages still surround half her body, but she feels better having showered, eaten and dressed in something other than a paper dress with half her ass hanging out the back. It's not that she's ungrateful. More just - annoyed. Between the paper dress, the inability to grace the bathroom herself, the sickly scent always germinating in the house, she's _way_ past annoyed. She can feel the tendons in her back pull tightly as she shifts on the couch and struggles to bite back a whimper.

"It fucking reeks in here," Jared comments as he slips through the open door, Paul, Embry and Quil following close behind him.

"Tell me about it. I'm the one stuck here." Leah scowls as her pack finally decides to show up.

_Late as usual._

"You're not stuck here, Leah. You're under our care," Rachel Black snarks as she bounds down the stairs with another round of pain medication in her tiny hands.

Leah shoots an annoyed glare at the woman but is met with nothing but a smirk.

"It looks different from the last time we were here," Embry remarks as he gives a swift push at Quil with his elbow, who hovers much to close for his liking.

"Yeah. Way different. Even though the party _sucked_. Is it a pale face thing to have chips and crackers? I mean damn, they could have at least served up something with a bit of bite? Burgers, hotdogs-" Quil responds as he takes a seat next to Leah, jolting her frame.

She grits her teeth and holds the bandages over her stomach and ribs. "Dick. Head." she bites out through the pain.

"Oh fuck, Lee. I'm so sorry. Shit!" Quil panics as he leaps to his feet and moves as far away from her as possible.

"Forget it." She grumbles as Rachel hands her a cocktail of pills and she downs them with a glass of water from the girl as well.

After a few heavy breaths Leah rights herself on the couch, looking over the boys.

_Her boys_.

"How are they?"

The mood seems to plummet from her words. Colin's funeral had been several days ago, and with the order of bed-rest looming over her, she hadn't even been able to attend. There was something about her absence that didn't sit right with her conscious. She was technically their Alpha at the time, and Colin had died under _her_ watch.

Embry sighs as he runs a tight hand through his hair. "They've... been better. Charlotte is over there now."

Leah nods at the affirmation. Charlotte was good people and she was more than grateful the girl had taken on a caretaker role for the Littlesea's by helping organise the funeral and even going as far as cooking for the wake. She was glad Embry had her as a girlfriend, even if they were fairly new in their relationship. The pain was still so raw, not only for the family but for each and every one of them. Losing a brother hurt like hell, even if he wasn't related to them by blood.

"And Brady?"

Embry gives her a stern look and she understands without the exchange of words. Brady was Colin's best friend and even in death, Leah knows nothing could sever a connection like that.

"What about my brother?" she asks, her eyes zeroing in on Jared.

"He's up and about. That's all we can ask for at this stage." he replies as he sits tentatively on the couch across from her.

Seth had been released from Rachel's care days ago and had dragged himself back to LaPush. He didn't want to stay in the Cullen home any more than she did. Paul was still at odds having to leave Rachel alone in the huge monstrosity of a house, so she would visit twice a day for a few hours and in her absence, Edward remained as her primary caretaker.

Being cared for by not only a vampire, but one who was stuck as a seventeen-year-old boy was strange enough. She had to admit that Edward didn't look seventeen though. His eyes gave his true age away, and she could see past that honey golden hue that hid the truth. He may have officially been seventeen, but he had been that way for longer than she could have ever imagined.

"So," Paul drawls, his skin itching in agitation at the smell inside the large house, "When are you going to be cut loose?"

All their eyes snap to Rachel who is still hovering in the room.

"It's going to still be a few more weeks."

Leah groans, Paul scoffs and the rest of the boy's frown at the statement.

.

Edward holds her elbow gently as he guides her down the back steps. Each step is met with a tiny whimper, or groan, and he feels impossibly helpless.

"We can stop if you like?" he asks as he stills so she cannot move forward. He feels slightly embarrassed at the way he hovers over the female wolf, but he knows it's for her own good. Over the last three weeks he has found that she is completely stubborn, more stubborn than both Rosalie and Bella combined, which is a feat within itself.

"_No_. I can do this. Plus, I'm sick of being in that house. No offence but you smell horrible, Cullen." she grinds out.

"The feelings are reciprocated, I assure you." He says gently.

She laughs under her breath, an action which he has not anticipated. It takes him off guard to see light dancing in her eyes, even if it is briefly and fades just as fast as it comes. He steps down carefully, allowing her weight to rest against him as they take the last few steps. The crisp smell of morning dances around them, the cool winds lacing them both in comfort. Nature is at its finest, deep in the corner of the forest where the Cullen home sits.

When her bare feet hit the dewy grass, she sighs in contentment. It's been weeks hauled up inside the house and it's her first taste of an almost freedom.

_'Why is it so quiet here?'_ she asks softly in her head, turning to him.

Her almond eyes gaze at him as the wind picks up tendrils of her jaw length hair, pushing the softness over the side of her face. His fingers itch, remembering an almost automatic motion of dusting stray hairs from Bella's heart shaped face.

"The animals sense the danger." He tells her with a small frown. "However, they rarely ever come close enough to understand what the danger is. I figure it's a self-preservation mechanism."

"Huh. _Smart_." She replies as her weight loosens on him.

He almost panics.

"It's fine, Edward. I need to do this myself. I won't always have you by my side."

He presses his lips into a firm line, his instinct to tell her she's wrong is strong inside of him. He doesn't speak though, but rather watches as she takes timid steps across the green grass. He doesn't want to voice any of his thoughts to her, in fear she will misconstrue his intentions. She is still so raw with hurt, both physically and emotionally, that he will allow her time to see his truth; to feel it, rather than hear it.

.


	2. Chapter 2

_a/n: Trigger warning. Suicide attempt, including some graphic descriptions._

* * *

[ II ]

.

It's a Tuesday night when Leah wakes in a pool of sweat, her whole body convulsing in pain.

She clutches the side of the bed and pulls herself over the edge, expelling the entirety of her stomach contents on the floor. It feels as though the skin on her back is tearing, her ribs caving in around the internal organs. White light lingers in the corners of her eyes, blinking to take her into a painless unconsciousness.

She grits her teeth, her hair damp across her face as she continues to clutch the side of the mattress, as if it were going to save her.

As if it were going to stop the pain within her that lingers just below the surface as always.

A whoosh of cool air hits her face and she blinks at the image of Edward Cullen so close to her face. He's crouched down, not caring for the mess under his shoes. He tentatively puts a cool hand on her cheek, both are afraid of what the contact will do, even though the action continues. Her eyes close, relief sinking inside her stomach knowing he is still here. His cool touch lingers, ice fighting against the pain and the all-consuming heat.

"I apologise, Leah. I was out hunting just on the boarders, so I could remain in hearing distance. I've never run as fast." He tells her, golden eyes sparkling in the slither of moonlight that is cast around the room. "Let me get something for the pain."

But it's not just the physical pain she needs reprieve from. When he goes to move away, her hand flies over his instinctively, keeping the cold touch on her cheek. His eyes soften as his other hand comes up to shift some of her damp hair from off her forehead, fingers brushing against clammy skin.

"Would you like me to stay, instead?" He offers, gently cupping her cheek.

She nods lazily as her eyes droop closed, bright white light taking her far away.

.

Leah is sleeping when Rachel visits in the early morning, Paul keeping close to the property and keeping phased. He's too agitated to enter the house so instead runs a circuit around it, always in close range to his imprint.

Edward is still somehow expecting Seth to walk through the door to spend time with his healing sister. The vampire knows how the natural scheme of wolves' work. They ran in packs for a reason, and they were all very close because of it. Like a family. Except Seth _was_ Leah's family. He wonders if he's done something wrong, offended Seth somehow. The wolf has not visited since his release and had always sent another member of the pack to check on Leah's progress on his behalf. Sue had visited once or twice but Leah demanded she not come back until her tears were under control, even if it was softly and without malice.

"How has she been?" Rachel asks as she sets down a hessian bag of new medical supplies.

Edward sighs as he unpacks the bag and does a quick inventory of the items. He feels like he's always running low on something.

"She's fine during the day, mostly. We have been walking in the garden which is showing great progress, though she still struggles. Unfortunately, at night, she's unsettled. I think she's having nightmares, but I can't be sure, because her mind puts up a wall when she's sleeping. There's also the hypersensitivity to things. To touch, to taste. She tried to eat yesterday but couldn't stomach the soup you dropped off." He tells Jacob Black's sister who is intently listening to him, even though her fingers are drumming against the counter top. It's a motion he has come to accept when dealing with the human even though it drives him crazy.

"They may be a physical symptoms of PTSD," Rachel offers.

It was already a thought that had flitted through his mind earlier in the week. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was a trickly mental disorder. There was no quick fix. Healing would take time, with no guarantee the wound would ever close. The mind was much trickier to fix than anything else.

"Do you think we should start her on a round of Zoloft?"

Edward presses his lips together. He knows the drug is used as an anti-depressant for the disorder but is not convinced Leah shows enough signs. He doesn't want her drugged up just yet. "Give me a few more nights. I would rather be vigilant, than careless with her."

Rachel nods gently, understanding passing from human to vampire.

They were both resilient, and would pledge their time in caring for Leah, even though they had no real obligation to do so.

.

They walk through the gardens as the moon reaches its highest point in the sky.

"Have you heard about the man in the moon?" Leah asks him as she stares out towards the forest, chin titled slightly so she can cast her gaze on the moon.

It's almost full, bringing with it bluish rays, casting the grass and forest in a gentle dull light.

Edward nods. "I have heard several types of lore that refers to a 'man' in the moon."

"Do you believe it to be true?" she asks simply.

"All myths and lore's have some truths behind them. While it may not necessarily be true in its entirety, there may be some glimmer of truth to it. Perhaps it started as a simple story that was twisted through time. Many origins come from a similar state." He tells her as he stands by her side, his fingers gently wrapping around her elbow. "Medieval Christian roots claim the 'Man in the Moon' to be Cain, the Wanderer, forever doomed to circle the Earth. Dante Alighieri makes mention of it in the Divine Comedy. In Chinese mythology, the 'man' is the goddess Chang'e, stranded upon the moon after foolishly consuming a double dose of an immortality potion."

"Huh," Leah muses as her eyes soak over the huge sphere in the sky.

"Regardless, there are very few things more beautiful than the moon," he mumbles as he inches her forward along the cold grass, his gaze lingering on the way the blue light illuminates her face.

Eyelashes like feather dusters curl up, pert nose, sharp jaw, pillowed lips. He imagines that Leah somehow shares ancestry with Cleopatra because of the shape and depths of her eyes in their almond, cat-like appearance.

A strange thought stirs through him and he begins to wonder how Samuel Uley felt when he imprinted on Emily Young, and had to face Leah, in all her devastating beauty, and be the first man to break her heart. He himself cannot imagine something so painful and only compares it to leaving Bella at the altar.

A choice which hadn't come lightly.

"Let's continue."

She nods and follows his urging hand which is softly pressing into her skin. She can feel each digit, the pads of each of his fingers, and something inside her wants to feel more. She doesn't know if it's because of the physical and mental care he's graced her with, or something else. Edward had no obligation to her, many men rarely did any more. She tries not to look too much into the way he looks at her, the way he hovers, the way he moves in her presence. The Edward Cullen she once knew through Jacob's thoughts is not the one who stands before her. Maybe Bella had changed him so deeply that he could no longer be the same person - _vampire_.

Her thoughts run to her former Alpha's.

Both men had promised so many things, and both were now indebted to others. Sam was her first love, a kind and gentle man who she had trusted. Jacob was a friend, a man who was always out of reach and showed her the true meaning of unrequited love. Both of them consumed her thoughts, both of them now long gone, just like the winds, swirling, and forever unattainable.

.

Edward allows Leah some privacy when they arrive back to the house.

He sits in wait in the hall, back pressed against the wall.

Carefully, he rolls his shirt to his elbows, before laying his forearms on his spread, pulled up knees. Laying his forehead in the palm of his hands, he sighs.

The sounds of the water tinkle in his ears, but it doesn't mask her sobs. It breaks his still heart as she sniffles and lets out another god-awful cry of anguish. He closes his eyes to try to stop the pain he feels inside her mind, tries to turn off the gift given to him through vampirism. He hates it. This - _supposed_ \- gift. The helplessness that comes with it. He doesn't want to share in her pain. Doesn't want to be held down by the weight of her hurt. He has his own pain, after all. He was already barely fighting to stay above water.

When the scent of blood stings his nostrils, his chest blooms.

He moves fast, slamming his shoulder against the locked bathroom door, sending the bolts flying across the room.

He falls in front of her curled naked form, his fingers pressing hard against her wrists. The shower head sprays a waterfall over them, a mixture stained pink swirling around the white marble, circling down the drain. He stares at her in anger, his lips pressed tightly, afraid he will say something that will continue to hurt her. His golden eyes flare while hers remain cloudy.

"Please, Edward," she begs, tugging against his grip.

Scarlet liquid blooms through his pale fingers, filling the gaps between them.

"No," he growls, closing his knees around her thighs so she can't escape.

Her fingers are still clutching the razor, holding tightly to it. He presses her wrists together, so he can hold them in one hand while he pries the sharp metal out of her grasp. She whimpers when he takes it from her, throwing it to the furthest space in the bathroom. Her blood runs red branches over the skin inside her forearm as it escapes his hold.

"Why would you do this?" he asks her, trying in vain to hold his anger at bay. He wants to shake her, demand she promise to never hurt herself again.

She stares at him blankly before answering. "I don't want - to - _feel_ \- this, any longer."

"Leah," he sighs, checking under his fingers. The bleeding has slowed but the skin is still open. Being medically trained, he knows she has used the most lethal way to cut into her arms. She wasn't just threatening self-harm, she had wanted to end her life.

"Come, let's get you cleaned up."

He reaches for the taps and turns them off gently.

Both are wet, but she is naked, and he needs to remedy that before his eyes drop away from her face. He doesn't want to insult her, or have her feel exposed under his stare.

After he helps her stand, he retrieves the fluffy robe from behind the door and slips it over her bronze skin. The temptation is so great, but he keeps his chin high, staring at only her eyes and lips. She doesn't fight him, and he gathers her up and gently places her on the edge of the bed in the adjoining room. He garners supplies and pulls forward a plush chair from the corner of the room.

She lays her arm on his thigh, so he can work.

"I don't think it will need stitches. You are already healing quite nicely." He checks the elasticity around the wound and when he is satisfied he places a clean cotton bandage over each of her forearms. She seems lifeless as she sits, wet dark hair hanging over her face.

When he finishes, he places the leftover items by his feet and shuffles forward to the edge of the chair. He places both hands on her, cupping her face, fingertips sliding into her hair, so she can look at him as he explains.

"Leah, you can't hurt yourself. There are too many people invested in your well-being. You are more than just yourself. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. You will be leaving behind Seth, your mother, Rachel, the pack of boys that depend on you to be so strong. Even me. We are friends, are we not?"

"I don't want to be strong." She mumbles, her berry coloured lips tempting him as she speaks. "I can't."

"Then don't be. With me, you can be whatever you want to be. I will not judge you, Leah. You can let go in front of me and I will be here to help in any way I can. I will not leave your side until you send me away."

She looks back at him, her eyes shaking as she blinks away another torrent of tears. Her hands come up and grip his wrists, battling an array of emotions within her mind. He concentrates on them while he stares into her dark eyes.

She has so many thoughts all at once, he feels breathless under the projection of them.

Her mind, her pain, her anger, her _everything_ is amplified.

He doesn't know who makes the first move, but to neither, it matters not.

When their lips press, fire and ice finally melting to one, her mind goes blank.

As does _his_ -

\- _for the very first time in his whole vampiric existence._

.


	3. Chapter 3

[ III ]

.

Rachel expects to be greeted at the door of the Cullen abode by Edward, just like every second morning she visits.

However, this morning he is nowhere to be found.

She looks back at Paul who is listening to loud music in the truck and shrugs her shoulders when she rings the bell again with no answer.

Paul flicks his wrist, telling her to go inside anyway. She's glad he's finally started to relax around the vampire, even though he wouldn't necessarily spend more than a moment too long if he didn't have to. She finds it amusing that he would rather send _her_ into a house with a vampire, than accompany her. She had once teased that he was afraid of Edward, which caused him to violently deny it before almost phasing in the kitchen.

The memory puts a smile on her mouth.

After pushing the door open she steps through the huge house, her sneakers tapping softly on the white marble and lain carpets. She swivels around, noticing clothing thrown haphazardly around the living room.

A pair of jeans here, a shirt there.

When she spots a pair of women's underwear on the stairs she feels her brow raise all the way to her hair line.

It couldn't - _it wasn't possible_.

"Good morning, Ms Black," a smooth voice comes, startling her from her thoughts.

She whirls around to find Edward at the back patio doors, stepping into the house with muddy boots. His hair is a complete mess, standing up in different directions as if it has been tousled by a hurricane. Even though he's always looked tense and pained she can see how his limbs seem to move more freely, relaxed, as if the tension he has carried around throughout his whole existence was easing.

"I apologise for the state of affairs. I should have tidied before your arrival; however, it was imperative I hunt. It's been a few days and I wanted to avoid any possible incidents, just in case."

Rachel can't help but frown. "A few days?"

Edward nods softly, taking careful even steps so as not to scare the woman.

She tightens her lips, knowing Paul is in the car and ready to move to her aid should she require it. Walking over to Edward, she grabs his wrist tightly, much tighter than she dared imagine she would handle a vampire. But she's come to know his nature, and it wasn't that of the vampires that had come to LaPush to destroy the wolf pack.

"Do you think this is a wise idea? _You_ and Leah?" She keeps her voice low, barely mumbling.

Her cheeks flame red, trying to remain impartial, but the thoughts in her mind betray her. She knows Leah has never made the best of choices, not when it came to men, and staring at the golden eyed man in front of her is proof of that. Sam had almost destroyed her world, and this vampire could do that and more. "She's still so - _hurt_. How can you even -"

He interrupts her, no doubt seeing inside her head and knowing where her line of thinking is headed. He eases her hold on his wrist.

"I would rather we not discuss this until Leah has an opportunity to explain herself. I'll ask her to call you."

Rachel looks worried. She doesn't like this situation one bit. Leah wasn't a human, wasn't Bella Swan. She could never choose Edward as a partner in life. She supposed that maybe it was just a phase, a short breath to feel close to someone again. Rachel knows there hasn't been anyone since Sam, even though rumours had spread wildly about the possibility of Leah and her brother, Jacob, being together.

"It's only sex. You know that, right? She could _never_... - it's not _allowed_, Edward. It can't be more than that. The council, her 'brothers', they won't allow it."

Edward stills as his hand meets the railing of the internal stairs. His spine stiffens considerably but he doesn't turn back to her. "Thank you, Rachel, for stopping by."

She sighs knowing he will converse no longer and leaves the supplies in a bag on the coffee table, before walking out and heading to work.

.

Leah wakes to a tender cool touch running up her calf.

She smiles with her eyes still closed, stretching out over the huge bed, spreading her arms like an eagle taking flight.

"Did you sleep well?" his clear voice asks, as she feels his knee dip into the plush mattress.

"I did," she says back, opening her eyes to the morning light.

Turning her head to the side, she is met with the forest, green and sweeping, throughout every corner of the open glass panes of the room. The glass reaches from the floor to the ceiling, extending the space and making it seem as if it were as large as the whole house.

"You were gone when I woke earlier."

She shuffles so she can see what he's doing, feeling the bed dip even further. Her breath catches in her throat when she sees him tug the sheet away from her waist as he sits on his knees, his curious eyes wandering over each part of her. She feels exposed under his eyes, but it's not just because she's still naked. But rather because Edward sees her, has seen inside her mind, has been inside her body.

It's a power she hasn't given to anyone else except for Sam Uley, once upon a time.

She presses her knees shut gently, knowing Edward's palm is dangerously close to her inner thigh.

He seems to snap out of the small trance he is under when she does so.

"I needed to hunt."

Closing her eyes tightly she remembers, if only for a moment, what Edward truly is. It doesn't bother her as much as it should, being a protector of her people and mortal enemy of what Edward is. It doesn't, because when she looks at his face, and the soft impression of concern on his features, she knows he is different.

"I _am_ different to them." He says tenderly as his palm moves to her knee before sliding down between her thighs. "And so are you. You are different to any other woman I have ever met."

She sucks in a tiny breath as he stops short of touching her and pulls his hand back. He reaches for the top button of his shirt and slowly pops it through the slit to release the materials hold on his body. His fingers slide down to the next, and the next, going through the ministrations slowly. She feels as though her temperature is rising with each sparse of pale flesh he exposes. She feels like a teenager when he pulls each side of his dress shirt open and shucks the material over his shoulders and down his arms.

Her eyes greedily flash over him, still impressed by the sight of him, just as she had been the first time.

"Are you tender?" He asks, as both of his hands move to rest on her calves as he remains on his knees, wearing only his dark grey trousers.

She bites her bottom lip between her teeth, nodding slightly. Even though the bruising on her thighs and wrists had healed almost instantly, the apex between her legs still throbbed with the memory of him inside her.

Leah watches as he sighs and leans forward to kiss her kneecap. The feel of his icy lips touching her skin sparks a wild ember inside her abdomen. She wiggles uncomfortably knowing he will soon be able to smell her want for him, just like he had on the first night they had kissed. She knows she's playing with fire by allowing the ministrations to continue between them, and she knows that if it were to ever get out, she would have to answer to the Tribal Council and her pack of brothers.

But with Edward, it wasn't just about the sex.

It was about being with him, giving herself to him freely, just as he had stayed freely for her. It almost sounds wrong to propose that the payment for her thanks was given through this type of method, but it had been so much more than that. Reasons, for which, she refused to acknowledge just yet. She had known of Edward long enough to know that he didn't do anything without purpose. She wanted to believe she was just helping him ease some of his own hurt over Bella, but in a sense, they were healing each other's.

She almost loses her breath as his nostrils flare and his eyes glance down. His amber eyes flick back up to her knowingly, that lopsided smirk tugging at his mouth.

"You need me." He announces, as if it were a normal thing to say. She wants to snap and tell him she doesn't need anyone, but her body has its own plans. Ever so slightly she parts her knees, showing him just how much she needed him.

Edward sucks in a breath, one he doesn't need, but rather wants.

"I'll be gentle. I promise."

His voice is like a fine wine as it washes over her. She lays her head back on the pillow as he shuffles in the bed, his shoulders suddenly pressing against her inner thighs, widening the expanse.

He drags his cold lips over her pelvic bone before moving down.

She sighs in anticipation when she feels his palms on the small of her back, tugging her forward, and sliding down to her behind.

As soon as his mouth meets her warm slick skin, she gasps, pushing her toes into the mattress, curving the arch of her foot, to press even closer to him.

.

He is sitting on a bench in the garden when he hears the back door slide open.

Turning he looks over at the dark-haired beauty as she tentatively takes each step, her fingers bouncing against the rail as she makes her way down. Her hair is a black as a raven's wing, her copper skin almost sparkling in the soft light of several rays of sunlight which peek from behind the usual grey looming clouds of the mid-afternoon.

She doesn't say anything as she sits down on the bench and angles to rest her head in his lap. With her shoulder pressing into the wooden bench, she looks out at the forest, curling her legs up. Her warm cheek presses into his thigh, creating a resonant ember of heat against his marble cool skin. His fingers curl around the edges of the book he had been reading moments before her arrival.

More out of instinct than anything, he brushes his fingers through her hair, and in reward, he feels her tense body slowly relax.

She's wearing one of his dress shirts, the white hue contrasting brilliantly against her dark skin. He runs a finger down her temple, across her ear and trails it down her neck. He can see the swell of her breast and the light material does nothing to hide the darker colouring of her areola. He swallows as his eyes move down, the shirt riding up to allow him permission to see the curve of her upper thigh.

Because it is just them and they are alone, he doesn't move to cover her. She is comfortable in her own skin and he would not attempt to hide her form should she see no reason to.

"What are you reading?" she asks, her face still angled out toward the forest.

"Something old."

"Have you read it before?"

Her voice hovers in the space around them, so unsure yet not forced.

"I have. Would you like me to read it to you?"

She nods, her cheek sliding against his dark blue trousers.

He takes a breath, calming his senses to focus only on the words of the book.

_'... she took her hand and raised her brush. For a moment it stayed trembling in a painful but exciting ecstasy in the air. Where to begin? -that was the question at what point to make the first mark? One line placed on the canvas committed her to innumerable risks, to frequent and irrevocable decisions. All that in idea seemed simple became in practice immediately complex; as the waves shape themselves symmetrically from the cliff top, but to the swimmer among them are divided by steep gulfs, and foaming crests. Still the risk must run; the mark made.'_

Her voice breaks his, before he can continue. "I need to go home."

His nails bite into the pages of the book. He wants to argue that this was her home now, with him caring for her and taking heed of every need she possesses.

Did she not feel it? This - _unexplainable_ \- bond between them? And while he understands her request, he does not want to acknowledge it. Over the course of the last month they had slid into a comfortable embrace, into an almost - relationship.

Did she not understand that she had taken his virginity, that he had bared himself to her? Showed his own scars? Did she not feel how he held her at night, how he kissed her?

How could she not understand?

"When?" he rasps out, feeling as though a knifes edge was piercing into his chest, cutting him open.

"The day after tomorrow." She offers, moving to finally look up at him.

The back on her head lays in his lap, her dark almond eyes framed by impossibly long lashes. He runs a finger over her berry coloured lips, touching her scars lightly. It both hurts and angers him to look at her scars, to look at what his kind had done to her. He could only imagine how they had treated her, how they had tried to crush her and end her existence.

"I can… visit, maybe?"

His throat tightens. "I don't want you to leave."

She releases a breath and blinks slowly.

"I have obligations, Edward. I can't hide here forever. And I'm almost healed. Seth's been doing everything he can, but - between the pack, and my mother-" She stops as tears collect in the corners of her eyes. He moves to wipe them away, before gently cupping her face.

The doctors had diagnosed Sue Clearwater with stage four cancer. Her time left on this earth had been shortened and he knew Leah loved her family with all she had, and she could not bare being denied one less moment with them while she still could. That had been why Seth had not come back to visit, having his hands full with caring for his mother as well as the pack.

As Beta, he was bound to the responsibility; even more so than her own responsibility as Alpha.

"It's not fair," she sniffles, her voice breaking as she leans her cheek into his palm. "She doesn't deserve something like this."

Edward nods, his face crumbling at the despair that washes over her own. "I know, Leah. No one deserves this."

Her hand slides over his, holding his palm to her face. "You don't understand. My mother, _specifically_, doesn't deserve this. She's - all her life she's helped others, and this is the thanks she gets from the universe? She lost my father then had to put up with two teenage shape-shifters. Then when she finally tries to move on and be happy with Charlie, she -"

Leah doesn't finish her sentence as she rolls into him and buries her face in his stomach. She clutches his shirt tightly as she quietly cries into him.

He cradles her head, musing his fingers through her hair in comfort. Her shoulders tremble as she lets out the pain, drawing her pain over his shirt as if it were a paint brush.

He remembers having to watch his own mother die through sickness, and the memories which were once buried, flash through his mind's eye.

"I know it's not fair." He whispers, moving her body into his lap and allowing her to cry on his shoulder.

"_Nothing ever is_."

.

_An: Exert from 'To the Lighthouse' by Virginia Woolf_

.


	4. Chapter 4

_An: Entangled has been nominated in the TwiFanFictionRecs Top 10 completed fics in June 2019. You can vote at www . twifanfictionrecs . com ! Entangled is the only Leah-centric fic up for June, so if you enjoyed Entangled, please vote vote vote :) _

* * *

[ IV ]

.

It's only been three days.

Three days since he'd last seen her, touched her, been graced by her presence.

The emptiness of the large house, once a home, now feels constricting, like the walls were closing ever closer, threatening to cave in around him. Like being swallowed by a steel monster, being devoured. Devoured by his loneliness.

He supposes he is a strange vampire, forever searching, but never finding a perfect mate. Vampire's mated, and from what he'd heard from Bella, the Quileute shape-shifters imprinted.

Imprinting had always been a strange notion to him. Jacob had explained to Bella that imprinting was like _'seeing the sun for the first time. That you were no longer tied to the earth, but to her.'_

He knows Leah has experienced her own form of imprinting, or rather the devastating effects of it.

Samuel Uley had promised the she-wolf forever, until his ancestors saw fit to match his heart with Emily Young, Leah's cousin.

His heart pangs at the notion. Had Bella been Quileute and imprinted on another, perhaps his guilt over leaving the fragile human girl on the day of their wedding, would be less intense.

Guilt has become a part of him, despair its lonely cousin, continuously swirling inside him, weighing him under a thick blanket of water, where he struggles for breath.

Laying his head back on the couch, he stares up at the chandelier, his limbs splayed out.

.

_"Edward," Bella gasps as her eye catches his form in the full-length mirror she's standing in front of. "What are you doing here?"_

_She turns on her heel, her white and crystal veil twisting and tangling around her slim waist. Her brown eyes sparkle, pink lips tutted with a rose tint. "Alice says it's bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the ceremony." _

_Her cheeks pinken, causing the scent of warm blood to bloom around the bedroom. Nervously she picks at the hand-made hemmed dip in the bust of her dress. _

_Edward feels his stomach curl with empathy, guilt, sorrow. _

_Bella looks so beautiful, her full luscious mahogany brown hair pinned up, showing off her slender petite neck and shoulders, her dress; wrapping silk, mesh and crystals around each part of her. _

_Alice had, indeed, made her look like a blushing bride beautifully graced in the French inspired design. _

_A sight - if he ever did see one._

_"Isabella Marie Swan. You are -" he swallows as he steps forward until he can take her hands in one of his. "You are exquisite in every way. Beauty truly does, become you." _

_His pointer finger brushes away a tendril of her locks, trailing down her temple, across her cheek, before resting on the corner of her mouth. _

_She's watching him, no doubt noticing the way his face shifts, emotions boiling, barely concealed under the surface of his cold marble skin. _

_"Edward? What is it?"_

_His eyes look past her, out into the forest, the tops of the trees visible in his line of sight. The wind blows softly, creeping into the house through the open double doors of his room. He remembers his room being a sanctuary, somewhere he could hide from the world, hide from his lack of humanity. _

_But now the room is nothing more than a prison, a prison with memories of _her_, and of memories of what could - _should_ \- never be._

_"Bella - I," his voice cracks._

_Her brow furrows as she rolls her bottom lip through her teeth. She takes a step back when his eyes meet hers again, desperate and full of sorrow. _

_"__**No**__." She whispers hoarsely, her shoulders slumping as she curls her palms to her wildly beating chest._

_Edward tugs at the cuff links Carlisle had given him earlier that morning, the ones pinned to his crisp white undershirt. It's a nervous habit, one he claims, even if he is an elegant vampire._

_"I can't, Bella. I thought I could - change you. But I can't." _

_Bella rushes forward, throwing herself at him. Her small hands clutch the lapel of his jacket. _

_"Please, don't do this. Please, Edward. You won't have to change me. I'll ask Alice to do it, so you won't have to. This is - __**you promised**__!"_

_To minimise the pain, Edward gently removes her hands from his jacket. He knows he should explain his reasoning, but there is only so many times he can say it. Ever since they began the whirl wind romance, between vampire and human, he has maintained his stance on his love for her. Her beauty did not matter, he wasn't that shallow. He loved her, as a human, as the fragile breakable girl she was. _

_Not a vampire. _

_Bella was soft, her voice gentle, her human tendencies the greatest wonder to him. Changing her would change his feelings. He wanted her to live. To be Bella. And live a full human life. One he could not give her._

_And she would._

_Rosalie was already on route to deliver a note to one of the pack that had been lurking around the property since the morning. They would then deliver it to Jacob Black once he returned to Washington. _

_It was his white flag. His swan song._

_"I'm sorry, Bella," He whispers, cupping her face and pressing a hard kiss to her forehead. "I can't marry you." He hears her breath hitch. "I won't."_

.

The room is dark when she enters, not because of the lack of a sun, but rather because the curtains are still drawn.

She tiptoes over the cool floor boards, careful not to jostle the woman when she crawls onto the large bed, situating herself behind the woman who brought joy to every day of her life.

"Mama?" she whispers, dusting back some of her mother's dark locks.

The woman's eyes are shut and it's the first time she notices the fact that her and Seth both look like their mother out of either their parents.

Straight nose, wavy hair, full bottom lip.

It's something both children share with their mother, something that defines them from the rest of the families.

"Are you awake? Did you need anything?"

She feels like a small child again, crawling into her parent's bed because she'd had a bad dream or because it was Saturday morning and her and her baby brother insisted on pancakes with berries and sugar. Even when there were no berries or even chocolate chips because money was tight, they'd happily enjoy there's mothers voice as she hummed while cooking their favourite food in the whole entire world.

Sue's eyes flutter open, a little confused at first until her gaze meets Leah's. Dark circles encroach under her eyes, but nothing takes away from the woman's beauty. Even with the medication and the trips to the hospital to try and meet the aggressive cancer head on, she is still elegant and regal; possessing an aura around her, one only a mother could own.

The head of the Clearwater household.

_Her mother._

"Hey baby," Sue croaks, moving a hand to rest on her daughter's cheek. "What are you doing here? Where's Charlie?"

Leah smiles tightly. "I sent him off to work with coffee and last night's left-over pot roast and told him I'll take over for the day. I wanted to spend time with you anyway."

Sue smiles genuinely. "I appreciate you looking after him, Leah. It's been tough on him. But enough about Charlie, how are you? Are _you_ okay?"

Instead of the truth, Leah nods. If she could spare her mother further pain, she would. "I'm fine. You know me."

Sue sighs as she closes her eyes, her hand still gently brushing her daughters face. "My baby. Always so strong. Just like your father."

When her eyes open, they look clouded.

"When will you ever find the person who sees past your amour?"

Leah ignores her mother's words and instead snuggles into her side, pulling the blanket up around both of them.

.

With her mother at another appointment with Seth, Leah strips carefully to look at herself in the mirror.

Slowly but surely, she reaches for the lip of her pressure bandages and unfurls them. The pressure has helped constrict the pain, has helped hold herself together more mentally than physically. Layer by layer she peels them away, revealing more and more tattered and torn skin.

It's healed medically, has been for weeks, but what remains is something... _other_.

Even the scar reaching from her cheek to her collar bone is still pink.

She swivels on her heel, padding her fingertips over the red and raw angry skin on her shoulders and back. She sucks in a sharp breath as her hand graces over a particular point, inciting an ember of pain to bloom.

She falters slightly at the feeling but still chooses to touch the same area.

Tears gather in her lashes as she prods the area over and over again. Her calm is slowly being replaced by anger. Anger at the fact her body is not healing as it normally had, and that scars are already starting to form like trees branching out, like a lightning bolt traced on skin. Fleshy and exposed.

She ceases her actions and moves to turn on the cool water of the shower.

As her back faces the spray of the water, the pain somewhat diminishes until it is only a dull throb.

It reminds her of Edward's touch and how each time the pain had come, his cool palms had somehow held it at bay, at least for a moment.

.

_"I've read in many history books about the technique of scalping within Native tribes," Demetri whispers into her temple, jerking her back. "They say scalping bestows the possessor with the powers of the scalped enemy. Tell me little wolf, do you think it will work? Do you think if I take it as a trophy, I will become a wolf too?"_

_"Wrong tribe, fuck face," she hisses as she feels the serrated edge of the blade begin to split her hairline. "Even if it did work, you're dead remember? Your body doesn't have the ability to change, it doesn't grow, _live_, breathe."_

_"Ah, pity then," Demetri drawls, flinging her forward to watch her collide with the hard-concrete floor._

_Leah lets out a grunt of pain and fists her hands against the floor. Everything hurts; everything feels broken, bruised and torn._

_"Well, we will just have to figure out a way to even up the score, don't you think? I wonder if a wolf can turn into a vampire?" he contemplates as he reaches for her wrist and rubs the delicate layer of flesh covering her vein._

_Leah screams hoarsely as she feels Demetri's teeth pierce through her flesh. It takes only a moment and when nothing happens Demetri tries again._

_Frenzied and wild with the lack of development Demetri moves to the large expanse of bare flesh in front of his eyes. He begins at her shoulders, biting and licking, allowing his venom to infect her._

_The screams deafen Demetri but all he does is smile against her flesh and bite down again. _

_And again._

_Until the screams suddenly stop -_

_._

Leah jerks awake, having had the same rolling nightmare she's suffered all week. Her stomach feels queasy as if a circus were rolling around inside her abdomen.

She moves to sit up in bed, reaching for the tall glass on the side table. She takes small calculating sips of the liquid, blinking rapidly as her fingers fumble for the orange bottle of pills.

Deftly she empties three into her open palm before throwing them down her throat.

Instinctively she reaches for the cell phone by her bed, unplugging it before shakily pressing the pad with heavy hands.

Her fingers tremble as she raises the device to her ear, her breath arching and her heart pounding inside her chest like a Quileute drum.

Her throat is dry and constricting.

Pain blooms behind her eyes, stabbing shards of glass into a deep place inside her head. She gasps, her teeth biting down and slicing the edge of her tongue. She tries to control her hand but it does nothing but tighten, crackling the plastic before the device can connect.

She drops the phone, stumbling to her feet and toward the bathroom across the way.

By the time she gets her head into the porcelain bowl its too late.

Speckles of bile land ungracefully on her thighs, the shirt she is wearing bunching up as she pulls up her shoulders high, her arms bracing herself against the cistern on the wall. The cramping need to bring up whatever is in her stomach starts again.

Blood from her split tongue and the food from dinner stare back at her as she blinks into the bowl, disgusted with herself.

The tiles are cool under her knees, the marble biting into her flesh.

She breaths deeply before collapsing down onto the source of the chill.

The tiles press against her heated flesh, providing a small piece of relief. She looks up at the ceiling, noticing the splay of mould building on the cream crown edges.

Her hands rest against her ribs and she takes controlled breaths; her heart finally calming.

.


	5. Chapter 5

_An: A special treat. This is my favourite chapter so far. Thank you for all your reviews. ILY_

* * *

[ V ]

.

He reaches for the phone and dials.

"_Edward_?"

"Leah."

Silence blooms as the old grandfather clock continues to tick in the crypt-like Cullen home.

Swiping at hand through his hair, he tugs at the ends in quiet frustration.

Eight days.

It's been eight days since he's last seen her, spoken to her and heard the drawl of her voice.

Her accent is un-Washington-like, mainly due to English being her second language. She pronounces words in a way that takes him off guard, the way they roll off her tongue, not nearly in a foreign way, but as if she was now a part of two interchangeable skins.

A rare and interesting concept given she is, of two skins, in the literal sense.

"I - How are you?"

_Ah, formal pleasantries. How... predictable._

He clears his throat and closes his eyes. "I've been... better. You?"

She snorts. "I'm doped up to my eyeballs with painkillers to be honest. Rachel hovers around me like I'm made of glass."

They both let out a collective breath. He chuckles in a way that reveals too much emotion, and she can't stop making a strange noise in her throat.

_Lupine_, he thinks to himself.

"I miss you," he whispers, sobering the whole conversation.

Back is the terse and rigid flow between them.

Before she can answer, he hears something in the background; in _her_ background.

It's a strange sound, one he definitely recognises as female. He wonders if Rachel Black is with her right now, hovering; perhaps influencing Leah's responses. The woman had been vocal in her opinion of the two of them being together, even if it were something very new and not yet labelled.

"Don't talk." He instructs Leah, a sudden surge of feigned confidence, mixed with an abnormal amount of desperation. "Meet me. _Tonight_. Please. I... I just want to talk. I promise I will... keep my distance. I just wish to - see you. And... to talk."

He waits for her answer, seconds stretching into lifetimes.

"Okay," she replies quickly before all he hears is the dial tone.

.

"Who were you on the phone with?" Rachel Black asks as she busies herself with placing folded clothes into the chest of drawers. Her back is stiff as she awaits her friend's response.

"No one." Leah replies tersely.

Rachel watches in the mirror as Leah slips the newly acquired phone under her pillow, then props herself against the headboard in an almost defensive manoeuvre.

"_Huh_. That 'no one' wouldn't happen to be a certain orange haired Cullen, would it?"

"That's not really any of your business. And it's bronze."

"What?"

"His hair. It's bronze."

Rachel sighs and turns, leaning back on the dresser.

The girl in front of her still looks worse for wear, but every day she grows stronger. The circles under her eyes are from late night meetings with the pack, which she knows because Paul had told her as such. Paul, and the rest of the pack it seemed, still knew nothing of the liaisons their Alpha was having with the known Forks vampire.

"I'm worried about you." Rachel says simply, moving to sit on the bed as well. She tries to grab Leah's hand but the girl she's known since they were children, wiggles her way free of the friendly gesture. "This _thing_ you have with him - it's dangerous and it needs to stop."

Leah snorts. "You don't know him, Rachel."

"No. I don't. Not really. But maybe if _Jake_ knew-"

Leah growls as she stands, tying her black hair into a messy bun on her head. Her body is tense, the tremble under her skin creeping over her forearms as she begins to pace the bedroom. Bandages no longer cover her face or neck, however in their stead remain angry pink scars. Her torso and back are still wrapped tightly under the large tee, concealed from the world and more notably from the pack and her family.

But Rachel has seen every part of the girl; ripped limp skin, torn flesh, the smell of death lingering on her from the fight against the tribe's mortal enemies.

The same mortal enemy she was now - copulating - with.

"It's not any of Jake's business _either_." Leah sneers.

"He's still a part of this tribe, Lee. And the future leader of our people. He should know about your situation. I thought you were friends. You confided in him once."

"_Leader_? Jake's gone, Rach. He chose _Bella_. He left us."

Rachel bites the inside of her mouth, her eyes keeping track of the agitated wolf.

Leah has always been passionate, but this reaction is different. She'd heard Jared and Embry once, talking as if she weren't in the next room. Her brother Jacob and Leah Clearwater were the talk of the town, and supposedly the newest couple on the block according to Sam. That had all changed however, when Jake and Bella decided to move away. Leah had been scarce, barely present on the Reservation after that. Rachel knew that she had taken his leaving the hardest of all the pack. Maybe harder than even Billy.

"You mean he left _you_."

Rachel cringes back as Leah hits the jewellery box from the dresser, sending bits and pieces to the ground, shattering the box.

"Don't you **_dare_**, Rachel. **_Don't_** make this about _me_."

"But it is about _you_, isn't it? Are you doing this to force me to go to Jake? To see if he cares enough to come home? Back to you?"

Leah punches her hand through the wall, with a speed that Rachel fears. A smear of blood covers the broken plaster, and no doubt the wolf girls knuckles.

Rachel hurries to grab a clean tee from the draw and wrap the bloody hand.

"Its fine," Leah hisses, pulling her hand away from Rachel's trained eye.

"It's going to get infected."

"Go to hell." Leah snaps back, continuing to pace the small room.

Rachel recognises the motions of a caged animal and steps back a few paces to let her calm. But it only seems to spur her on.

"And you know what, fuck _you_ and **_fuck_** your brother. _God_ \- I can't believe you would think I would do this to get Jake's attention. Cause you know what, he's an asshole. You don't even know the half of it."

"Then tell me!" Rach pleads. "Tell me so I can help! Stop being a so stubborn and tell me what's wrong. Tell me what happened between you and my brother. I can't read your mind like your precious vampire, or Jake, or the pack!"

Leah stops pacing and looks up at Rachel. "He's not mine. He'll always belong to Bella."

Rachel knows the girl isn't _just_ talking about Edward. The thought hits Rachel low in the gut. Leah had been in love with Jake. _Jacob_. Her baby brother. And he had chosen Bella and left. Rachel sucks in a sharp breath of air, feeling it freeze in her lungs.

Leah slumps to the bed, sitting on the edge with her head in her hands.

_"And you love him?"_

"I could." Is the answer Leah gives.

Referring to whom, Rachel is not sure. Perhaps Jacob. Perhaps Edward. Maybe both.

.

"You're hurt."

The smooth tone of his voice moves like an old song through her bones. With her eyes closed she smirks and leans her head back on the tree. With her toes in the cold dirt she feels at peace. The temperature spikes are finally subsiding and she feels more like herself than she has in days.

"Hello to you, too."

"Leah." He whispers in disappointment, his cool fingers wrapping delicately around her wrist so he can see the damage. She slowly opens her eyes to look at him and as always he is ethereal and not of this world. "What happened?"

His pointer finger slides under her fingers while his thumb brushes the dried blood and bruises on her knuckles. She hisses softly as he kisses the smallest knuckle of her little finger.

"You said no touching," she reminds him.

"I lied." He smiles softly. "Of course my reasons are my own and of a selfish nature, but... I missed you."

She shakes her head as he pulls her up to her feet. "I kinda missed you too. For a vampire."

Edward smiles but it somehow doesn't reach his eyes. The usual sparkle inside his honey coloured orbs is missing. His eyes seem darker.

"What's wrong?" Leah asks, her nimble fingers toying with the buttons of his shirt as they stand chest to chest. His cool skin is barely a breath away and she already feels the relief against her heated skin.

"It's been a while since I've eaten. And I'm starving." He replies evenly, backing her softly against the bark of the tree. She blinks as he falls to his knees, his palm sliding up the backs of her thighs, fingers curling around the edges of her underwear.

"Oh."

_Oh_.

.

Edward hates himself for seducing her, but it's the only way to strip her defences down. He can't do it while she's on the Reservation and she rarely leaves. He wants - _needs_ \- to give her a reason to stay. Or to at least visit him. To be something to him. _For_ him. He gathers it's nothing but blind ambition, using her to validate his own existence but he needs something to hold on to.

Without Bella he is just another vampire pining for a human life.

He doesn't have the gift of imprinting, and cannot wipe the slate clean in terms of romances. He cannot just cut away his feelings, his pain, for another; either of them can. He needs Leah. More than she knows. More than she wants responsibility for. She is still so young, and will always be so, he supposes. Who on earth would want a vampire tied to them, when they were themselves, alive?

"Wait." Her voice is breathless as she grabs a fistful of his hair and jars him backwards. "_Edward_, wait."

He growls, surprising both himself and her, but soon loosens his grip on her thighs and sits back on his haunches as she remains standing against the tree.

Edward can feel his eyes flicker to an even darker hue of his normally topaz eyes, tongue gliding over his sharp incisors as he waits for her to continue. His nostrils flare slightly, scenting her deep scent, enticing him further.

She had inadvertently taken his virginity after his insistence and had awaken a sleeping beast within him.

"We can't."

Her hands are clawing the underwear around her knees, back up, before he replaces her hands with his own.

The act is a desperate attempt to stop what was happening between them and he feels the guilt rush over him like a tidal wave.

"Please, allow me," he says softly, his fingers gliding up over the swell of her hips. The elastic snaps softly against her skin as he stands, balancing perfectly. He feels the shame in his actions and cowers when she reaches for him. Her fingers wrap around his jaw, jarring his gaze to her.

"I apologise." He succumbs as she stares into his eyes.

"When I said 'we can't', I meant we can't, _here_."

Before he can voice his thoughts, she presses a hand over his mouth, her eyes communicating his need for obedience. His vampire nature flares against the wolf's command, but the man, or whatever is left of a man, understands quickly. She taps her ear and jerks her chin west, his own senses coming to life.

When he hears the hard footfalls edging through the forest he turns back to her.

She nods and answers him without words.

_'They've been drawing closer for a few minutes now. We need to move.'_

He nods back, takes her hand, and leads them towards the stream up ahead.

.

Leah stands in the study, which she supposes is - _was_ \- the good doctors.

Fingertips carefully touch the spines of books older than her many times over. She has no doubt they are as close to originals or first editions as she will ever get access to. She doesn't deem herself academically blessed but still appreciates the means on which information is passed. Perhaps she would rather classify herself as a lover of history.

The leather is cool to the touch, embossed in gold and a various shade of other colours. Her fingers tip toe, reading the spines as she goes. Some of the books she's heard of, some she hasn't. When she lands on a particularly large book with a wide spine but without a title, she stops and glances towards the door before pulling it from the shelf.

She fluffs away the white sheet covering the main desk and places the book down gently and with the care it deserves.

Curling her hand, she eases the cover back.

It reveals itself as not being an actual book, but rather a collection of larger sheets of loose paper. She can tell it's old just by looking at it.

"You are a very inquisitive woman," Edward's voice rings from the doorway.

She looks up to find him leaning against the frame, arms crossing over his pale chest. Like the very inquisitive woman she is, she can't help but sweep a look over him. She's glad he's wearing trousers, otherwise the light blush in her cheeks would be visible.

While he isn't as tall as Jacob, he is still tall. And lean.

And extremely easy on the eyes.

"I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not." He says in a breezy tone. "However, if you could refrain from comparing me to Jacob Black, I would appreciate the sacrifice."

She opens her mouth to reply, but chooses to quiet her thoughts first. She knows she shouldn't be thinking so loud around Edward, but in many ways, she can't help the tiny thoughts that escape her, especially when her line of thoughts wander towards Jake. He is - _was_ \- always lingering in her head in more than one way. He had been her Alpha, still was, if she were truthful. But Jake... Jacob, had been more, even for the most briefest of moments. Leah Clearwater knew the book on unrequited love.

Hell, she could have written it.

"You can take it however you want," she replies finally, sharply, her eyes falling back to the desk as her fingers slide over the brittle and worn sheets. "It's the original, right?" she mumbles, reading through the text with great difficulty. She understands the Native tongue of the language, but the old English is over pronounced and almost illegible.

Edward answers with a soft '_Uh huh_.'

She feels him slide up next to her as she reads, but her attention is captured completely by the script style of hand writing on the sheet. Edward rustles behind her and pulls her into his lap as he sits them both in a leather chair. The coolness of his chest makes the dull throb of pain under her skin cease for a moment, the icy calm sweeping over her in shivers. He helps her arrange the bonded cover of the fake book over her lap while she reads. She's well aware she is only wearing his dress shirt and her underwear but she's used to the nudity of being a pack member, that this is literally classed as being dressed.

When she spots Edward's name on the bottom of the page she turns slightly. "You were there?"

He nods simply, the hand around her waist steadying her. "I was."

When he buries his face in her neck, she shudders. The feeling of their combined temperatures shouldn't feel so...

"I'm sorry." He tells her abruptly.

She shakes her head. "No, it's - I like it."

When he smiles against her skin she continues her line of questioning.

"What was it like?"

"What are you referring to specifically?"

Leah's fingers trace the cursive handwriting. "Then. The people? How did you come across my people? Who came up with the idea for a Treaty? Some thing's we know, other things... sometimes information is lost as generations go in and out of existence. Word of mouth is - questionable at best."

He lets out a long breath, resting his chin on her shoulder. "It's a long story."

She glances at him, blinking several times, before she looks out into the darkness of the night. "I have time. The sun won't be up for a few hours, and no one is expecting me until the late afternoon."

He kisses her then, softly at first, then with more rigour once she responds.

Casting aside the pages she feels Edward sweep her up into his arms as he stands.

"Give me an hour to enjoy you... and then I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

She searches his now honey coloured eyes and gives him a small jerk with her chin. "Hmm. One hour?"

She can't help but smile.

"Then, you tell me _everything_."

.

His palms skim her hips, following the arch of her body towards her waist.

She jerks in reaction to the icy touch on her ribs, but the coy smile on her mouth tells him it is not a discomfort.

With her legs draped around his waist, he marvels in the heat of their union, the way her back is arched, holding the position like a dancer. His left palm remains soldered to the small of her back, keeping them joined.

His eyes hungrily take in the way her stomach and chest is pushed up, the graceful way of her shoulders, barely touch the bedding.

He grunts as he flexes inside her, his fingers trailing a path from the valley of her breasts, down, down, until-

When she gasps he pushes again, forgoing any more torture. He pulls her up so she is wrapped so tightly around him, their noses are brushing. Her eyes hold an intensity that binds him. An intensity that causes tremors to crackle along his spine.

Her warm breath fans over his mouth, her lips tempting him as she whispers to him.

_'You won't hurt me'_

He squeezes her waist when she links her arms over his neck, her body in complete unison with his. He takes her mouth, pushing his tongue inside.

The warmth settles deep inside of him, the warmth of her body, her mouth. The way she completely engulfs him, steals what little breath he has, steals parts of his existence. He wants to fall apart, allow her to seize him, shatter him, and reassemble his life.

_'Edward, please'_

He pushes up, moving both hands to her shoulders to increase the pull of gravity. The impact is blunt; a drawled moan of trepidation falling from her mouth. He focuses on her breath, on creating a symphony from the instrument of her vocal chords. She clings tighter as he guides her body over his, his fingers sure to leave evidence of their copulation.

But it's her eyes. Even when he kisses her; her eyes remain in the backs of his lids. Dark, brooding, sensuous, dangerous.

_Lovely_.

He growls when he catches her mouth again, swallowing her pants of breath. Swallowing her. Encasing her and everything she experiences. He needs this, just as much as her. To feel a part of her; a part of something more than himself.

He feels the divinity of their motions, feels closer to Heaven than he will ever be allowed.

And as he consumes her, he too is consumed. By a higher power?

He doesn't know.

All he knows is that when she tightens around him, her whole body seizing in a delicious pain, he falls with her.

From grace. From fire.

From himself.

.

"It was March, 1936. I don't recall the exact date because we had only arrived back in the America's a few weeks earlier and keeping the a true record of the date wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities with my blood-lust still very... active.

Carlisle was the academic and kept journals so I could find out if you wish to know the specifics."

She nods, but doesn't interrupt.

"After we arrived in San Diego by ship, we moved along the western sea board, keeping to ourselves mostly, and in search of a new home to call our own. At this time it was only Carlisle, Esme, Rose and myself. Emmett, Alice and Jasper came later.

Eventually we came upon Forks, and decided thanks to the weather, that we would stay for a while. Carlisle purchased this parcel of land which was little more than forest and a cottage at the time.

Living with a couple and a woman I had no interest in, wasn't exactly easy. To placate my boredom I would hunt during the day mostly, walk through the forests. I liked to map the property in my head."

He stops to run his fingertips over the outsides of her thighs, drawing patterns gently across her fiery skin. He is always in two minds in her presence. Displaying not only his conscious thought, but his unconscious, more primal thoughts. She is a creature he will never understand. How could he? How could he possibly begin to understand every woven fibre of her life? He cannot fathom it, even if he wishes to.

"Why?" she ask, genuinely curious.

"I suppose it was mainly curiosity."

"Huh. Paul is the same. He looks like an idiot but he knows every corner of LaPush. Jake, too."

At the mention of Jacob Black's name, he stiffens slightly.

He pauses his ministrations for a moment, flexing his fingers, before he resumes again. The turmoil circles and bounces around his head, his concentration zeroing in on her thoughts. Bella had once described Jacob as her own personal sun. And in many ways, Edward had always been jealous of that aspect. It wasn't just Bella's infatuation with the wolf boy, but rather the aura he transpired to those around him. He was constantly warm; with a beating heart made of fire, eluding and demanding attention with his stature alone, but it all softened with the gentle tug of his mouth, blinding everyone in the immediate area, when he smiled.

And if Jacob Black was the sun, Edward himself, was the moon.

He was, after all, the exact opposite of Jacob Black in every way.

Leah's thoughts as always, come as a gentle breeze rustling in the wind. Both clear and unclear. Out of everyone he's ever meet, besides Bella, Leah has the uncanny ability to hide from him. Not completely, but just enough. He can see snippets, of her, of Jacob, of a tiny garage in, where he guesses, was LaPush.

_'I hate you"_

_"I know"_

_She can't move with him wrapped tightly around her and her frustration boils to the top. She can feel her ears and cheeks reddening and her body thrashes and convulses but he doesn't relent. She's too agitated, too angry and frustrated, hurt and tired. She's been inside his head, seen how much he loves the girl and she knows that he would do anything for her. She wishes Bella Swan never came back to Forks to live with Charlie. She wishes the hooks in Jacob weren't so tight and absolute. She wishes he didn't love Bella so much._

"You care for him."

It isn't a question.

Leah gives him a strange look before rolling her eyes, a gruff sound gurgling in her throat. He doesn't know if it's admittance or an omission. "Stop poking around inside my head, Cullen. One day, you aren't going to like what you find."

Her breathing peaks and he can see the internal struggle she is having in trying to remain calm, trying to hide from him, trying to deceive him. She isn't a natural deceiver, nor is she an open book. She remains, as usual, an unbalanced place for him to dwell. He himself has first-hand experience of pain, and its ability to change a person.

"If you want to know something, ask me, Edward. Don't look at what isn't yours to be shared."

He interrupts her. "Are you in love with Jacob Black?"

It pains him to even say it out loud.

She scoffs but doesn't answer, opting instead to push her hair behind her ears and move out of his embrace.

Sitting up on the edge of the bed, she reaches and pulls on her underwear. Every line of her body flexes, even with the impression of soft curves around the loveliest parts of her. She is a woman, undeniably, a woman who understands nothing of beauty or perfection. But he knows; embodying and knowing are two different dimensions of the existence within a human soul.

She does not know; because she _is_.

"I'm not here to talk about Jacob. He was my Alpha. Of course I care for him."

Rolling his tongue over his bottom lip, he tastes her perspiration there, left on him as a treasured tease. "The feelings you have for him aren't the same as the feelings you hold for Seth. Not even close."

"I'm warning you, Cullen. _Stay_. _Out_!" she hisses quietly as she pulls on her discarded jeans from the floor. He wills himself to remain in the bed, to let her go. Let her run away this time. He knows he has no rights to her innermost thoughts, no reason to be there.

Except-

Edward knows something is wrong the moment she jerks her shoulders.

"Leah?"

He hears her inhale a sharp breath, the way her blood moves quickly through her veins, the beat of her heart thrumming in her chest wildly. At first he assumes its pain, pain from her injuries or from bringing up topics she does not wish to discuss. As she runs from the room to the ensuite Edward follows quickly, swiping the linens strewn across his lap, in an attempt to ensure she does not further injure herself.

He is beside her immediately, concern marring every inch of his face.

As she retches, huddled over the porcelain throne, he rubs her lower back gently, carefully, kneeling so he can hold her hair away from her face. He can tell she's ashamed of the predicament but he refuses to allow her to face this alone.

"How long have you had these symptoms?"

She wipes the back of her hand across her mouth, unable to face him.

"A few days. I'm sure it's nothing."

.


	6. Chapter 6

_An: Thank you again for the reviews. You guys are amazing...  
_

* * *

[ VI ]

.

"Hey boss, sorry about taking so long. Kim was having a meltdown. Something about dinner at her parents' house in a few weeks. Girl's nuts. She can't choose between taking Pecan or Apple pie," Jared grins as he meanders into the kitchen.

Taking a seat at the table he flicks the water from his crown before assessing the empty room.

Leah acknowledges him by a short jerk of her chin and an upward motion of her brows. Her fingers continue to drum against her forearm, humming an unknown beat.

She can't remember where she's picked it up from, but it's been bugging her for days.

The weather in LaPush has once again, failed to impress. Thunder grumbles in the distance, though close enough to shake the double storey. Rain beats at the tin roof, dull sharp thuds tapping, and pushing Leah's unknown song from her head in the confusion. She's gnaws her thumb nail in wait. She checks her phone for the tenth time since she's stepped inside her mother's kitchen.

"Something wrong?" Jared nudges as he sits back in the chair, folding his arms across his chest.

She shakes her head, adjusting the large hoodie.

"There a reason I'm getting the silent treatment?" He inquires with a raised brow.

Leah licks her lips as she leans back against the counter. She can feel her own unease and knows that Jared can feel it as well. He's pack, family.

She looks over at him, taking a good look for the first time in months, if not years. He's still very much the boy she remembers being one of Sam's best friends in high school. Still with the cheeky glint in his eyes, that subtle grin, even the hair. Jared had been one of the boys who hadn't needed to shear his long locks, having preferred them short. It was probably his father's military background that had inspired the boy's taste.

Her eyes soften.

As much as she wishes Jared to be nothing but another 'boy' she knows he's not. He'd personally had a hand in saving her. Bringing her back from the dead. With Seth injured and the other boys fighting against Felix, Jared had been the one who had breathed air into her lungs, who had ensured her heart continued to beat, long after it stopped.

"Jared, that day, did you... understand what you were doing?"

He doesn't skip a beat. He's always been as quick as a whip. Another quality from his father.

"Jeez, Leah. 'Course I did. Look - you're a bitch and you know what. I get it. If I was you, I'd have half a mind to kick Sam in the nuts every time I was forced to listen to him spout some bullshit. Just because you're a pain in the ass, doesn't mean I don't care about you. You're the sister I kinda always wanted - granted you are way hotter than I wish my sister to ever be."

Rolling his neck for a moment, he continues.

"You're a good person, Leah. I didn't have to think about what I would do. I just acted. Cause guess what? The day you turned wolf, you became bigger than yourself. We all did. We don't belong to ourselves any more. That's what a pack is, ya know."

By the end of his admission she feels embarrassed to have ever questioned him. It wasn't that she was unsure of his loyalty.

It's just that somewhere deep down, she wanted to understand.

To know _why_.

"How's Sue?" Jared asks, this time with a little apprehension. "Seth's been coping but he can't hide his pain as well as he think he can. Between physical and emotional, I'm not sure what's worse."

The admission has Leah reeling. Her face scrunches slightly as she swallows. "The hospital are trying a few things. We... We're hopeful. But it doesn't look good."

Jared nods as he stands.

Taking several steps he covers the space between them.

Clapping a hand on her shoulder, he pulls her forward into a hug. It's unexpected but oh-so needed.

She stands in the kitchen, clinging to what little comfort Jared offers. His hug isn't as warm as the one she unknowingly dreams about at night, but it's genuine.

"Lee. Damn. I'm sorry." He holds her head close, his warm hand rubbing her elbow. "You know the guys and I will be here if you need anything. I mean it, yeah."

"Thanks, Jared."

.

After towelling her hair, Leah lets the dark tresses fall to her shoulders as she wraps the towel around her body. Gentle are the steps she makes as she drifts back to her room, feet padding on the woven mat. Seth is out on patrol and after an early dinner at the Swan residence with Charlie and her mom she feels lethargic. The sun has already set, bringing the cool evening drafts with it.

Sitting on the edge of her bed the towel forces itself to fall closer to her lap. Fingers tentatively reaching, she skims the edges of the fading bruises on her thighs. She shivers remembering Edward's touch, the way it had seared to her skin like ink.

She closes her eyes, reminiscing each stroke, his feeble attempts at remaining composed obviously failing.

Popping her eyes open she stretches out a foot and examines each inch of flesh, rolling her foot from side to side. She should feel shame, should feel guilt, anything than what she feels in the moment.

The liaison with Cullen was unexplainable. Unimaginable. Incomparable to anything she's ever felt.

Tugging the towel open she saunters to the full length mirror on full display. Ever since the first phase, hiding her form had become a tedious task, one she had learned to overcome. Like many things.

Her fingers touch the scar that runs over her cheek down to her chin, noting it's failure to heal as it should. She then explores her reddened collar bones, the ghost of fingerprints still settled there, to the love bites that trail from the tops of her breasts to her stomach-

Frowning, Leah places a palm on her stomach.

She creases her brow harder as she turns to her side, examining the small swell there. Biting her lip into her mouth, she cringes as she presses the small bump. It's not soft as she expects, not like the flesh of someone who has indulged, but rather quite firm.

It almost appears as if she's...

.

Shifting the sheet, Edward finds the source of his discomfort.

The shard of technology shudders as it lets out a high pitched squeak. Nimble fingers open the device as he presses it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Tell me it's not true," his sister whines into the phone.

Edward frowns as he moves from the bedroom and into the study. "Then I won't tell you it's true."

"Don't play coy with me, _brother_." Alice hisses, her patience long past snapped. "_The wolves_. What are you doing with them?"

He can't help but press his lips together. Even now, her essence remains on his mouth. Haunting him like an addict. He wants - _no needs_ \- more of her. In any capacity which she is able to spare him. Was he in love? No. Infatuated? _Perhaps_.

"Alice. I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about."

She seems to take in his words, rolling them around in her pretty little head to concoct a response. Alice's gift had always been impeded by the wolves. They had been a buffer in the outcome of her visions, moments in time that had not yet come to pass. He almost appreciates the wolf gene now, more than ever. Leah, just by being what she was, was blocking his sister inquisitive nosiness. Alice was unable to pass time without passing her judgement on him.

When she speaks, her teeth are clenched, hissing lowly to stop their conversation reaching additional ears. "I have spent forty years with you, Edward. You have never disappeared from my sight. _Not once_. Yet - ever since you've ventured back to Forks, I've been able to see nothing. Snippets unworthy of mention perhaps. But nothing else. What are you doing with them? Do you have any idea how dangerous the company of their _kind_ is?"

"I'm fine, Alice. I assure you, I am capable of looking after myself."

She's silent for a moment. "There's a girl isn't there? In the pack? Jacob mentioned her once to Bella."

Edward clears his throat as he slides the back door open and steps out onto the porch. "I believe so."

When he offers no more, Alice sighs. "I don't know what you're doing Edward but you aren't safe there. Esme is worried and would feel better if you joined us again. As a family. Where you belong."

Edward closes his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose.

The noiseless forest surrounds him, blue light falling on his bare chest.

He stretches out his arms, welcoming the night.

"I am where I belong. Thank you, Alice. Tell Esme not to worry. Send her my love."

.

Leah paces the shoreline in wait.

Tonight, her scars bloom under her hoodie, the material alone rubbing against them and causing a low dull ache. Every step she takes pains the muscles that lay beneath the torn flesh, shudders of fire spitting under each trailing scar.

She pulls her body into itself, trying to lessen the hurt, but it aches with a passion tonight, as if by knowing her secrets, it showers its punishment down on her.

How could she have been this stupid? Been so caught up in the act of the carnal pleasure that she had not made sure of the one thing that was normally conceived from such a coming together?

A child?

A child was so far from her mind, her conscious thought having never even… considered such a crazy connotation.

How could something which was undead, give life?

How could a woman, whose reproductive organs were utterly useless, be able to accomplish such a feat?

She stops on the sand and presses against her stomach to make sure she hasn't gone mad. To make sure what she had seen in the mirror were real. How could something so – _unbelievable_ – be growing inside her. Was it even a child? What if it were a vampire-cross species? What if it were just a mangled mess of incompatible DNA? How could something be born of, not just one, but _two_ monsters? Could she keep it? Could she keep such a thing? Without endangering her people? _All_ people? What if it were truly a monster, incapable of remorse, of restraint? Would it kill her as it grew?

Could it even be… _born_?

Turning toward the sea she looks out at the breaking waves.

Moonlight illuminates the dark water, turning everything within its reach an ethereal blue tinge. The salt sinks into her skin, the winds knotting her hair. As tumultuous and rough as the sea looks, she is drawn to the calm below the surface. The quiet blue of the sea, lovely and still. What if she were to just walk into it? Walk and keep walking until the air left her lungs, until the salt not only touched her skin, but everything she was hiding inside?

Could she wash it all away?

The pain, the memories, the life that she lived above its hushed domain.

Could _it_ even... _die_?

.

He leaves message after message, awaiting word from her.

After three days he is almost distraught with worry, his fingers tearing at the ends of his hair in a blinding panic. How could she want him so, and then want nothing more from him? Had he read her intentions wrong? Had she only sought to tame her own passion before leaving him with just a taste? A gruelling taste which he could not forget. A taste which stained the sheets he refused to wash; afraid her scent would be lost forever.

He feels manic, as if all his vampiric senses are heightened. Every soft song of the wind sounds like footsteps, his head quirking, hope rising with every thought that it could be her.

That she had come to him.

_'Leah, please'_

_'Call me. Please just let me know you are well.'_

_'I'll break the treaty if I have to. I have to know you are safe.'_

_'Leah. You have three hours. If you are not at the stream near the border, I will have no choice but to cross over and see you for myself.'_

.


	7. Chapter 7

[ VII ]

.

"Are you sure you don't need a ride?"

"It's fine, child. My son is on his way."

"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow, Mary."

Rachel waves as she leaves the small health clinic.

Checking her watch, she cringes, hoping Paul had gotten her message about getting off late from work.

Rummaging inside her bag she pulls out the tiny Spider-Man figure which her car keys are attached. Smiling, she walks down the narrow path towards her car, rolling the keys within her grasp.

The shrill sound of her phone has her stopping and diving back into her bag. When she lifts it and squints at the number she mentally runs through who it could possibly be, contacting her at this hour.

"Hello?" she sighs as she jams the phone between her shoulder and ear.

"Are you alone?" comes a familiar voice.

Moving to place her bag on the roof of the truck she simultaneously unlocks the car and juggles the phone back into her palm.

"I just got off work. Why are you calling me, Edward?"

"_Is she there with you_?"

His voice is higher than normal, almost worried.

"Is _who_ with me?"

It's a stupid question, she knows that. Who else would Edward Cullen be referring to? He foregoes an answer and continues anyway.

"I've been calling for _three_ days, left countless messages."

Moving around the car Rachel throws her bag inside before sliding in as well. The car is cooler than she'd like but provides shelter from the night's breeze outside. She doesn't know if her sudden shiver is because of the weather or because a known vampire is calling her private cell.

She takes a breath. "Look Edward, I haven't seen her since... Monday? I assumed she was with Seth or Sue. Have you tried the house phone?"

"It doesn't seem to be connected."

Rachel rolls her eyes. She's the last person who wants to be caught up in their drama.

"Listen - I'm on my way home. I'll drop by the house and see if anyone is there and I'll let you know."

Edward lets out a long breath through the receiver. "I would be grateful. I would owe you a debt."

Rachel can't help but bark a laugh. "The way I see it is, you _both_ already owe me. If anyone ever finds out what you are doing, I'm going to deny - black and blue - that I ever knew anything. Your secret is bigger than the both of you. The ripples from this will be felt all over. I just hope you know what you've both risked here."

Ending the call, Rachel drives ten minutes west to the old Clearwater property.

When she arrives, she finds it empty.

.

Driving to work on Thursday morning, Paul notices something strange on the side of the road. He slows the truck, dipping the headlights.

"For fuck sake! What on earth are you doing out here?" He growls at the woman whom had the whole Pack in a panic for the last few day.

Ever since Rachel asked him the question, none of them had been able to attest to her whereabouts.

"Oi - I'm talking to you!"

There's an edge to his voice that he can't help but display. Rachel had been worried out of her mind, the Pack the same. Even old Billy had been on his ass to find her. Seth had been running for the last eight hours alone, just to catch her scent.

When he reaches her he can see she's soaked to the bone, her black hair stuck to her ruddy cheeks.

He glances up at the sky, noticing the lack of rain clouds.

"You been swimming or something?" He asks as he crouches down in front of her.

Even in the lack of light, he can see her lips moving, but no sound is coming out. He shuffles closer, raising a cautious hand to move her hair from her face. He can smell the salt on her, and notices the light bruising around her collar bones. "Fuck Leah. It looks like you've been in a dog fight."

He's trying to lighten the mood, but feels himself failing miserably. "Hey - Lee. _Leah_." His frown deepens. "Shit, Leah. _What the fuck happened to you?_"

When her eyes flick to his, his jaw tightens.

He isn't a touchy feely person, but this is his Alpha. Well, _supposed_ Alpha. She may have been faster than the rest of them, but she still had miles to make up in terms of being any kind of Alpha. Sure, she was smart, but looking at the girl now, she didn't seem like the smart type. She ran toward trouble it seemed, rather than away from it. She would have made a good cop for Charlie Swan.

"I went for a swim," her voice comes.

It settles softly over him, reminding him of the girl he knew in high school.

Back when she was Sam's girl.

He raises a brow. "Oh, yeah. When?"

Considering its six in the morning, it's a valid question.

"Tuesday."

"_Jesus_. Here - let's get you up." Paul stands straight before offering his hand out to her.

When her skin touches his, he almost recoils. She's colder than she should be; colder than a wolf. When he tugs her up, its then he gets a real sniff of her. Snippets of salt, the forest and orange are ever present, but there's something else. Something unsettling.

She smells like a woman; a human woman.

And _vampire_.

.

Seth is already sitting at the kitchen table when she walks in.

The way he's sitting there, his dark eyes sweeping her, makes her want to hurl. It's not that she's ashamed of what she did - _had been doing_ \- she just wishes that the whole pack didn't now know. It wasn't their business, any of it.

When he clears his throat and motions for her to take a seat she does. Not because she listens to a Beta wolf, but because this is her brother. Her baby brother. A brother that had always approached everything with a clear head and an open heart. A brother who had almost died trying to save her.

A brother that deserved the truth from her own mouth.

Her muscles still ache, even after sleeping the last two days away. She had never been so grateful to see her old house, and her bed.

As soon as Paul had helped her up the stairs, she had all but passed out.

"How do you feel?" Seth's inquisitive voice breaks through, sparring her attention.

"Probably exactly how I look," she nervously chuckles, brushing back her wet hair.

When she'd stood in the bathroom, sans the dirt and salt, she had inspected herself again, touching the flare of her belly once again. She had tried hard not to cringe, especially since that part of her had been cool to the touch. Not cold like Edward's touch, but almost, human. Bruises still littered parts of her skin, scars covering a large percentage of the rest of her. Her collarbones, upper arms, hips, there were marks everywhere.

"Tell me what happened," her brother says, his brows forming a deep frown on his face. "The last time I saw you was Monday. What's happened between now and then?"

She smiles sadly, hearing the warmth and concern in his voice. In many ways Seth would always be that person. That constant source of love in her life. Even if she didn't deserve his graces.

As she opens her mouth, he places a finger in the air. "I want the truth, Lee. Not as my Alpha. But as my sister. As family."

She nods, understanding. "I - I think I need to see someone. I - I need to talk to someone outside of our circle. Not about the wolf stuff. About personal things."

Seth sighs, his face falling slowly. "You know you can always talk to me, Leah. About _anything_."

"I know Seth, thank you. But this - I'd feel more comfortable - with a female. Mom already has so much on her plate, I couldn't possibly let her shoulder any more worries."

Her brother nods. "What about Rachel?"

Leah bites her bottom lip.

"She's always been your friend, Leah. Maybe she could help you with whatever it is, you need to talk about. Look - I know I'm your younger brother, and I know I don't have very much experience in the realm of relationships, but you need to be careful, sis."

Her eyes raise to his as he speaks. His words reveal Rachel Black has already conversed with him before now.

"There was a reason Edward left Bella at the altar. It wasn't because he didn't love her, but because he had the potential to kill her, through his love. I know you're a big girl, I know you know how to look after yourself, and whatever you choose I'll be behind you. But - he's not good for you. He's dangerous."

He could never understand how untrue that statement was. Edward was not dangerous. Just lonely.

"Seth - I'm -"

Seth cringes when her hand presses over her stomach.

He's trying to keep calm, his fingers biting into the edge of the wooden table.

The furniture shakes, squeaking along the tiled floors.

"Please-" he begs in the softest voice she ever heard come from her brother. "_Please_ tell me you're joking."

Leah raises her chin. "I'm going to fix this."

He frowns, "_How_?"

"Just - trust me."

.

When his sister finally falls asleep on the couch, Seth sits quietly in the kitchen.

He reaches for the stock whiskey his father had hidden at the back of the cupboard years ago and washes out a stout glass. Pulling the seat back he sits at the kitchen table, allowing the darkness to swallow him. The warm yellow light from the lounge room barely touches him, nor the hard pressed brows he wears.

Pouring himself a drink he throws it down with ease, one hand ghosting to rub at the tightened thigh injury that had been plaguing him for the past month. He grits his teeth as he presses down on a particularly tender spot.

Pouring another drink he slumps back into the wooden chair.

As the liquor begins to ease his anxiety and worry over the present situation, it takes him back to a several years ago, when Leah had once again been the subject of his swirling emotions.

His sister, his only sibling, had been the closest thing he'd had to a best friend.

Their relationship wasn't perfect, anything rarely was growing up, but they'd had each other, and for a fleeting moment, that was the only thing that had mattered.

.

_Seth winces as Leah pulls the comb tightly through his hair, bunching the long tresses into her fist. Her slender fingers press down, her palm covered in ointment to keep each strand of his hair in place. He almost wants to laugh as she grumbles to herself about the Young side of their family and the trait of waves both siblings had inherited from them._

_Combing once more she ties his hair into a band, which sits tightly on the side of his neck, matching the other. Soon, her fingers weave the familiar pattern of a braid, applying more products as she goes. Even though his hair is pulled tight against his scalp he can't help but enjoy the motions. Every year had been the same, first his mother, then his sister. She had learned over the years and dare he say, had perfected the art._

_A light touch on his shoulder tells him his mother has arrived to inspect his sister's work. _

_"Good, baby. Don't forget to-"_

_"Yes, mama. I've got it, trust me." His sister replies, no doubt rolling her eyes._

_"Jacob's next, sweetheart." Sue reminds them both, earning a groan from Leah. "Now, don't be like that. You know Jacob only likes the way _**_you_**_ do his hair."_

_"That's because he likes looking down her top," Seth says dismissively, earning two swifts slaps to the back of the head. He hisses in pain. _

_"WHAT! You know it's true!"_

_"Shut up, Seth," Leah scowls as she walks into his line of vision. _

_His eyebrows shoot up, noticing the pink blush blooming on her cheeks. _

_"Be good, you two. Seth, you're on in just under twenty minutes. Your headdress needs to be on _**_now_**_." Sue scolds lightly. _

_She squeezes his sister's forearm gently. "Good work, sweetie. Your dad's going to be really proud."_

_._

_"What are you holding?" Seth asks curiously, rounding the couch to see what rests in his sister's arms._

_She glances up at him, holding her index finger to her lips. "Shhh, she's sleeping," Leah explains as she pulls back some of the cloth. "Tia and mum have gone to Port A. I volunteered to look after the baby."_

_Seth peers down at the tiny human, awe running over his face. She's a peaceful little thing, with pink lips and a tuft of black hair. Tia, Emily's sister, had recently only had the baby, but this was the first time both of them had seen her._

_"Dude, she's tiny. I can't imagine us that tiny." Seth tells his sister as he reaches out to touch the little fingers poking out of the muslin wrap. "What's her name?"_

_Leah smiles with such serenity, it almost doesn't look like her. _

_"Her name's Claire."_

_._

_"Where are mom and dad?" Seth asks as he places his book bag down and grabs a few oranges from the bench. _

_Leah, who is sitting at the table, surrounded by books, shrugs her shoulders. "No idea. Last I heard they were at a Council Meeting. Something about a new family that has moved to the area. I don't know. I haven't heard of anyone new moving onto the Reservation, have you?"_

_"Nope," he replies, looking through some of her text books before he classes them as boring. "I heard something interesting today at school." Seth starts, his voice raising a little higher, unsure._

_Leah raises a brow, "Oh, you did, did you? What was it?"_

_"That you're getting pretty serious with Sam Uley. Someone mentioned at the last bonfire he had his hand up... up your shirt."_

_Leah chuckles as she picks up her pen and continues writing out notes for Biology. _

_"You should be careful," Seth announces, clearing his throat._

_"Oh yeah, why's that?" _

_The way she says it annoys him. This isn't a joke. Samuel Uley was bad news. Both he and Paul Lahote always had been. Ever since they'd been kids, they'd walked around with a certain swagger and air about them, as if they were untouchable. Plus, the rumours about their fathers were always the talk of the town. He didn't want his sister involved in that kind of mess. _

_When he doesn't reply, Leah sighs. "Look Seth. It's going to be fine, nothing is going to happen if I don't want it to. I promise I'll be safe."_

_Seth scrunches his nose, not necessarily comfortable with the topic, but says no more. _

_._

_"Seth!" Leah cries as soon as she sees him. _

_She runs over and launches herself at him and he is barely able to catch her before they both topple to the sand. _

_He can smell the alcohol wafting off her in waves, her smile bright even in the darkness of First Beach. _

_"You're here! Oh my god! I didn't think you'd make it."_

_He blushes as Colin and Embry chuckle at her antics, both of them helping the pair up. _

_"Happy birthday, Clearwater." Embry muses as he ruffles her hair. _

_She catches his hand in hers, and pulls Embry and Seth toward the bonfire. Seth tries to navigate past the plethora of people who have come to celebrate his sister's eighteenth birthday. His parents, along with Billy and some of the other adults are gathered close enough to keep their eye on the group of teens, but far enough to provide some resemblance of independence._

_After grabbing a few sodas he sits with Embry and the few boys he does know. _

_His sister is like a butterfly, moving from group to group, laughing and smiling, creating joy wherever she goes. _

_But it's when she dances up to Sam Uley that his mood sours. _

_Sam's arm drapes over his sister possessively, a look in his eyes Seth doesn't like. Sam had proved over the last year that he was trustworthy and courteous but Seth still felt indifferent to the man. There was something... not right about him. _

_Besides the growth spurt he's been sporting in the last month, Seth can swear that the man is changing before his very eyes. _

_He seems... less... each day._

_._

_When he gets home from school one afternoon, he finds his family sitting in the small living room. His father has a stern look on his face while his mother hovers around his sister. He can hear her sniffles, see her tear stained cheeks. When he gets a proper look at her, her eyes are red and she looks as if she's pale. _

_He presses himself against the kitchen wall, not knowing whether he should announce his arrival or not. _

_"Baby girl, whatever you choose, we will be behind you 100 percent. But you need to think this through." Their father says softly. "I have no doubt you would be a wonderful mother, but you're still a baby yourself. All of your options will be limited. Your dreams of college, gone."_

_Leah sniffles again, their mother cooing and whispering to her and she pets her eldest child's hair._

_"With Sam out of the picture..." His father pauses. "Just look at Embry's mother. She's had it tough, baby. There are small minded people that still live here. They don't understand the new world - equal rights, feminism, homosexuality - they still live in the past. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I want you to know that whatever happens, you'll always be my daughter."_

_"Harry! This shouldn't all be on our daughter. Samuel should be dragged through the coals as well. He did this to her. Then he just up and leaves. Cancels the whole wedding." Sue hisses. "If he didn't want to be a father, he should have made better choices! And now he thinks he can just start something with my niece! I don't think so. Wait until I get a hold of my brother and tell him what his daughter has been up to while visiting La Push."_

_"Sue," his father starts, "There are things that..."_

_Leah interrupts them both. "I'm going to fix this."_

_"Baby-" Sue pleads. "Please think about this before you make any sudden decisions. I know it's all so much in one day; Sam, a baby, but you need time."_

_"He doesn't love me, mama. I - I can't stay tied with him. I can't. But I'm going to think about it."_

_._

_Seth hits the bottom of the stairs as his sister slams the phone receiver against the wall, back on to its cradle. _

_"Son of a bitch! Son of a fucking bitch!" Leah wails, wiping the stray tears from her face with her shirt._

_"You okay?" Seth asks in frustration. _

_His shirt feels itchy, as if bugs are crawling over his skin. Even the cold shower hadn't helped, nor scrubbing his skin raw until he was literally red._

_"Do I look okay?" His sister barks, kicking the wooden chair of their mothers dining setting. "What do you care anyway? Don't you have somewhere to be? Don't think I haven't seen you running around with those loser friends of Sam's."_

_She looks just as irritated as he, pulling the collar of her shirt. _

_"Hey, they're not all losers. Jake and Embry are still my friends."_

_"Really? Is that why I haven't seen them in weeks? I saw them all up at the cliffs. Hanging out, doing whatever the fuck it is shirtless teenage boys do. Looks gay if you ask me. That's probably what it is."_

_Seth recoils before he feels a prickle of heat at the back of his neck. "If Sam were gay, he would have left you for Paul, not Emily!" He shouts._

_As soon as the words pass through his lips, he regrets them. _

_He watches as Leah steps back, her fists bawling by her sides. A blush of anger crawls up her spine, her body pulled so tight she looks as if she is shaking to keep together._

_"I should have _**_known_**_ you'd be on Emily's side. You're probably fucking her too."_

_"What?!" Seth growls. "What the fuck is wrong with you? She's our _**_cousin_**_, Leah. Damn! And you know I'm always on your side. No matter what."_

_"Being cousins doesn't mean shit to Emily, clearly. Why don't you just _**_leave. me. alone_**_!"_

_"I'm not leaving you alone! You're ALWAYS alone in your room! You don't even talk to me anymore! Sam may have left you but I didn't! _**_I'm still here, Leah! ME_**_! I don't deserve your shitty attitude! You mope around the house like you're the only one who's suffering!" Seth steps forward, feeling as though he is out of his own body, as if he was watching his body move without his permission. Snatching up her elbows he draws her close. "We _**_share_**_ pain, Leah! I'm you brother! Your pain speaks to me like no one else's!"_

_"LET GO OF ME!"_

_"NO! I'm done letting you get away!"_

_He can hear her heart beat thrumming in her chest, feel the fizzle of heat burning across his shoulders. _

_A quick intake of breath from their father barrelling into the kitchen is all it takes for the tension to snap like a twig inside both of them. _

_A slamming of adrenalin within both siblings shoots through them, the twisting and crunching of cartilage permitting in the tiny kitchen like steel twisting. _

_It feels like a horror movie; flesh making way for bulges of muscle and fur, hands curling in pain being replaced by grotesque claws; faces changing, lengthening to a sickening snout._

_._

_It takes Embry three days to get Leah to phase back, while Jared works with him. _

_In some ways Seth is thankful for the separation. Even though they could hear each other's thoughts, he couldn't bear to look his sister in the eye. Not yet. He had been mean, cruel even. He had meant to explain himself, but it had come out all wrong. _

_Hearing Embry's applause, he focuses back in on the conversations. _

_'Dude, looks like your sister is still more awesome than you, even as a wolf', Embry chuckles as he sits and lolls out his tongue._

_A human Leah sits crumpled on the forest floor, her sneer still present, both hands covering her feminine goodies. _

_'Damn, was she always this hot, Seth? Or just now because she isn't with our fearless leader?' Paul comments like an asshole as he joins the group, having just come from a 'friends' house._

_'Shut up, Paul!'_

_"EMBRY CALL! YOU BETTER NOT BE LOOKING AT ME!" Leah's human voice barks. _

_'Sorry, sweetheart,' Embry thinks cheekily to himself. _

_Seth notices he does however turn when Jacob Black stomps through the tree line, a crinkled yellow sun dress in his hands. _

_"OH GREAT! AN AUDIENCE!" Leah hisses, snatching the dress from Jacob's hands._

_"Trust me, if Embry saw anything, the whole pack just saw it." Jacob tells her gently, moving to stand between Embry and her so she can dress. He doesn't want to agitate her, especially since she's only just managed to phase back to human. "I have to take off, Bella's waiting. But I'll come by later, Leah. To check on you."_

_"Ah yeah, or not. I'll be fine by myself." Leah snaps as she straightens the dress over her thighs._

_Jake rolls his eyes, giving a swift slap to Embry's snout for sneaking a peak. "It's either me as Beta, or Sam as Alpha. You're choice." He smirks, knowing he has won, his eyes then moving down to her legs. His brows rise in contemplation. "Hey, are you hurt?" _

_Leah looks down, her lip rolling through her teeth. "No, why?"_

_'What is that?' Jared whispers through the link, his vision zeroing in on the wolf girl through Embry's eyes. _

_'Blood?' Seth swallows in question. _

_"Leah, you're bleeding." Jacob tells her, moving toward her to provide some kind of half-assed first aid his father taught him._

_Lifting the lip of her dress, she pales. The amount of blood is too much just to be a cut of some kind. Plus Embry had explained the ability to heal. _

_With shaky hands she dips her fingers under the dress. Her face crumbles as she smears the blood between her thumb and forefinger._

_Before the rest of the pack can ask what the hell is going on, Seth's memories pour through them. _

_Shock replaces curiosity. _

_'Oh fuck, we gotta get her to a hospital,' Jared tells them firmly. 'It could be a miscarriage. Same thing happened to my sister and her husband when they were first trying for kids.'_

_Seth howls loudly, distress clearly written all over his wolf. _

_He takes off from Jared and Paul, running straight for her. _

_He blubbers as he runs, apologising profusely. _

_He didn't mean to do this, to make this happen. He was sorry. So so sorry. This wasn't meant to happen. _

_She was supposed to have the choice. _

_._

Seth finishes the last lick of liquor and sets the glass on the table top. Rolling his neck, he sighs, wondering if what he is about to do, is the right thing. Digging into his pocket he pulls out his cell and flips it open. He toys with the buttons a moment before he dials a familiar number. One which seems as though it belonged to a life time ago, a life that was no longer his. Back when the Black Pack were a family.

Pressing dial, he holds the phone to his ear, his lip rolling through his teeth.

"Hello?"

"Edward. We need to talk."

"_Seth_?"

"It's about my sister. Meet me at the Treaty line near the stream. I'll come alone."

.


	8. Chapter 8

[ VIII ]

.

Seth's only intention when he arrives at the Treaty line, is to talk.

But the moment Edward Cullen appears, the rage inside him builds.

He can feel the heat of his wolf, rising to the surface, scratching away under his human flesh. He grits his teeth and balls his fists, counting silent mathematical equations' inside his head to counteract the primal need to _end_ the creature in front of him. He works hard to control his thoughts, to shut down the sensory part of his brain and focus solely on analytics only.

"Seth."

The way Edward says his name grinds every part inside him. Seth flexes his back, his arms, and chooses instead to cross them over his chest, so he doesn't accidentally smack the vampire straight in the jaw should he get too close.

"_Cullen_."

Edward sighs, rubbing a hand through his hair. "I thought we were past using surnames?"

_'One, two, three, breathe'_

Seth gurgles out a growl. "Not when you're _fucking_ my sister, we aren't."

The vampire stills at the accusation, but his face is unreadable.

Seth can't tell if Edward feels guilt, shame or is proud of the fact that their affair is out in the open.

Because if Seth knows, the whole pack soon will.

"Seth-"

"NO! _You_ don't get to talk, Cullen," Seth half shouts, his arms tensing tighter. He takes a deep breath. "We were friends once. Back before all of this. That's the only reason I am coming to you. As a man."

Seth can smell the rain as it draws closer to the peninsular, hear as the soft fall of drops begin in the distance. His voice eludes him for a few more moments, both vampire and wolf man standing in complete silence except for the song cast by mother nature.

"Leah... she's pregnant."

The wolf man swears the amount of air sucked in by the vampire should make him choke, but he remains as still as a statue. His topaz coloured eyes flicker, trying to understand the information, to asses the truth of it. But it's not just the information. It's the connotation. The future of such a state. Leah was pregnant. By a vampire. A thing that was supposed to be dead, not alive. She - his sister - who was already so unique by her nature - was carrying something even more - unknown.

What if... what if it killed her?

"We have to destroy it." Edward's voice is gravely, snapping Seth out of his thoughts.

The vampire sounds pained, despair rolling off his tongue.

"It's the only way, Seth. She'll _die_. Hybrids aren't birthed... they're _spawned_."

Seth feels bead of sweat gather on his brow before his stomach rolls and he bends to empty what little dinner he had near his feet.

.

Leah feels the cold chill of the eerie morning.

It's darker than it should be for this time of the morning and she wonders if winter is already upon them. There's no snow yet, but each morning it creeps closer. She feels it in her bones, deep inside.

A cold that she imagines has twisted its way around her insides much like a vine, curling and touching places it shouldn't.

A foreign thing.

She discards the oversized shirt, which may or may not have belonged to Jacob Black once upon a time, and pulls on a pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt and a dark hoodie. She brushes her teeth and washes her face as part of a normal morning routine, one she used to take for granted.

But ever since death, its meant more.

She stands in the mirror, watching as the trickles of water run along her scar and down her chin. Her eyes flicker, scanning each part of her face. She feels as though she looks... different. Her normally dark eyes seem... lighter. Closer to hazel than they have ever been. Her mouth, lips; different. But it's her skin that she notices most. She strokes along her cheeks, seeing an abnormal blush. Maybe it's from the cold she feels, maybe it's nothing. She looks more_... human... _than she ever has before.

A twisted thought fills her mind, one she can't shake.

One she has to act on.

Barrelling down the stairs towards the kitchen she finds the house empty. Reaching for the top drawer she pulls it out in search of a tool she can use to check her theory. Paul had mentioned her scent, even Seth had been concerned by it. Woman, they had told her. A human woman. With no trace of the wolf. Her fingers glide over each utensil, moving and searching for something sharp enough to pierce flesh.

Finding a small scaling knife her mother used each time she made her famous fish fry, Leah grips at a towel that hangs over the oven door.

_Just in case._

She wasn't going to cut too deep or too hard, but after being a wolf for so long, she isn't sure if she knows how to harness the correct amount of strength.

Taking a deep breath she holds the knife to the tip of her finger.

And pulls down.

Trickles of blood rise to the surface of her finger, almost bubbling before they descended over the tip to her palm.

Wrapping the towel around her wrist, she begins to count.

1, 2, 3...

8, 9...

And still, blood flows.

.

The car is silent as they drive, the wet coolness of the Olympic forest rustling by their mothers late-model car.

The tyres spin soundly on the roads, thunder crackling in the distance, sending out its threats once again.

For two days it had rained, non-stop, as if the skies themselves were crying, heart broken by what she had done.

What she had allowed to happen.

"Are you okay?" her brother asks, turning to her and checking with his own eyes that she hasn't shattered like glass into a million pieces.

He had been hovering, more than usual, especially after she had shown him her latest findings. He had almost phased in their tiny kitchen, almost lost what little control they had left between them. But she had promised herself this was something he needed to know. Promised that if anyone where to help her, it would be him.

He glances from her face to her stomach, eyes lingering there before he looks back at the road.

"Just hungry," she replies autonomously, her fingers tapping against her forearm to a strange tune.

She still doesn't understand why this particular beat comes to her, or why she feels the incessant need to mimic it. It drones on her mind, both consciously and in her dreams. For the life of her she still cannot understand where the tune has come from; what it means.

Seth lets out a sigh. "Aint' far now," he assures her as he indicates towards a much narrower road.

She frowns as the car pivots right onto a straight road, a long haul truck kicking up a thin sheen of water as it passes by on the opposite side of the road.

She could have sworn the place Seth was taking her to was in the middle of Port Angeles; this road being the opposite of that.

"Where exactly are we going?" she asks, turning to her brother in suspicion.

"You'll see."

There's a strange tone in her brother's words, one she has come to know over the years. Sometimes she wonders if Seth forgets that she has known him his entire life, knows his feelings, senses them better than anyone else.

"You're keeping something from me."

He glances quickly at her, his foot slipping on the accelerator just enough for her to notice.

"_Seth_-" Her voice is filled with a stern warning.

"Just trust me alright?" He huffs out, his eyes dropping down to the dash, lingering on the speedometer. "I - _trust me_."

She glares in his direction, crossing her arms against her chest. "Whatever. As long as there is food, I don't care."

But she does care. The flitter of butterfly wings pulse harder in her lower stomach, with fear or something akin to it. But she does trust Seth. Trusts that whatever _this_ is, it's because he loves her, and not because she's the worst sister, Alpha or person in the history of the world. She trusts that whatever he is keeping from her, that she'll be safe.

Because if she couldn't trust him; then what was the point.

.

_She sits in the darkness of his room, watching him with eagle eyes. _

_He writhes in his sleep, the mixture of emotional pain and anguish causing his injuries to inflict more hurt than they should. She wants to say something, wants to talk to him just how her mother had told her that unconscious patients could still hear, even when they were in a coma, and that it helped. She wants to say something, something that will ease his pain, something that she would have liked to hear if she where the one covered in bandages, heart broken and mangled. _

_Heart broken thanks to Bella, and injured, thanks to her._

_Maybe she was no better than that stupid girl. The one who was forever puppeteering his heart on a string. A string she was using to pull and push him back and forth until he wasn't the boy with sunshine in his eyes and a smile that could dazzle even the most wretched of hearts._

_But she can't talk. Because what would she say? What could she possibly thank Jacob Black for? For jumping in front of her? For... saving her?_

_How dare he think she needed to be saved. How dare he... make that decision. It was HER decision. Hers. Not his._

_He groans again, shifting on the comically small bed, sweat beading over his whole body. She listens with intent to the crowd gathered outside, fully enraptured with Carlisle Cullen's instructions on how to care for Jacob medically, in the leeches absence._

_She bites her lip, zeroing back on the boy in front of her._

_"I never asked you to save me, you know." She starts, her voice barely above a whisper. "That... it wasn't your choice."_

_She takes a deep breath, her fingers twisting in the hem of her shirt._

_"But of course, you had to play the hero, didn't you? God, what is with you guys?" she breathes sharply through her nose, quelling her anger that is still simmering beneath the surface. _

_Part of her wants to punch him, the other part, the part that still lingered inside her, the good part, the old Leah, wanted nothing more than to break down and cry._

_"I didn't need you to save me."_

_She wipes at her face, feeling a wetness within her palm. She presses her forefinger and thumb together, inspecting the unmistakable resonance of tears._

_He groans again, his mouth grimacing, laced with a deep pain. His teeth gnaw together, trickles of perspiration forming on his upper lip._

_She stands to leave, no longer wanting to bear witness to the torture. As her hand lays flat on the old pine of his bedroom door she shakes her head. _

_"I'm sorry you got hurt, Black. It was stupid."_

_To her surprise, he answers. _

_"You make me do stupid things, Clearwater."_

_She spins around to find him smirking, even through the pain. His eyes remain shut though, his body still tense._

_"You're a fucking idiot."_

_"Wow," he winces as he tries to shift. "Tell me how you really feel."_

_She lets out an exasperated sound of annoyance as she turns back to the door, ready to rip it open and stomp straight out of Billy Black's house._

_"Hey, Leah.." Jacob says groggily, his eyes barely lifting open. "If I had the choice to do it all over again... I'd still do it. You're worth taking a bullet for."_

_With her anger simmering she makes a decision she will later come to regret. _

_Instead of leaving the Black residence, she re-takes a seat and spends the night watching over him. _

_._

Leah jolts awake the second her brother's palm comes down on her shoulder.

"Easy. You okay?"

Shrugging off his worry she nods, pushing back the hair from her face and tucking it behind her ears. She straightens in the seat, looking around at the scenery which she doesn't recognise.

"Just a dream."

"Are you sure you're okay? You look pale."

When he goes to touch her again, she moves slightly to the left, imploring him to leave it be.

"I'm fine, Seth. Where the hell are we?"

Seth gives her those eyes, the ones where he knows she's not telling him the whole truth, but he soon flushes away the concern and points a finger toward the house in front of them.

A white double storey charmer sits before them. The gardens are manicured, lovely and almost Victorian inspired. From even inside the car she can smell the ocean, but she knows they are no longer near the peninsular. It's somewhere South. Somewhere - warmer.

"See that house?" he asks, his eyes assessing the landscape as much as she. "That's where we are going."

Leah glances at him quickly. "I don't understand. They do food here?"

He smiles slightly. "I'm sure they could arrange something."

Just as she opens her mouth, the door of the home opens, revealing two of the most beautiful middle aged people she's ever seen.

But it's not their beauty that stops her in her tracks, it's the fact that she knows them.

"Seth-"

"They want to help, Leah."

"_YOU TOLD THEM?_" she shouts, turning her whole body this time to her brother.

"Jesus, Leah. Of course _I_ didn't tell them. But neither of us had a choice."

Leah doesn't have to ask, because she knows.

She knows the moment the two people part like the Red Sea and she wants nothing more than to look away. But she can't. She can't because even though she denies black and blue that it's - _he's_ \- nothing more than a lapse in her judgement, he isn't. And how could he be? How could she not come to - _care_ \- about the man who had lost everything, just as she had. The man with a soul that spoke to hers and stayed when she was at the worst of lows.

That made her feel less alone than she ever had before.

There he stands, face pained, looking more fragile than she's ever known him to be. His lean form is slumped in despair, his golden eyes searching hers in anguish. Her stomach flutters; breath quickening.

He continues to be an enigma to her. His beauty, his own torn view on his existence, his being, the way he just made everything seem nondescript and yet made even the simplest things, beautiful. And its the pain they share, the whispered agony of words in the middle of the night, the language both their bodies spoke in the depths of an unscrupulous union.

It wasn't Seth who told Esme and Carlisle, no.

It was Edward.

And he only knew because her brother couldn't keep his damn mouth shut.

Her throat dries, and she wants to sob because this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He wasn't meant to know. He - _it was her choice_.

"You need to talk to them, Lee. Especially Edward. You need to know all of the information before you make a decision. I know it's gonna be hard. But, I'm here to help if you need me." Seth's voice is like a dream, lacing her in comfort and understanding. She doesn't feel as though she deserves either, and the urge to reach out and punch him right in the stomach flares from within.

But she can't, because this is why she loves her brother so much. This is his way of caring. This is how he thinks he's helping; and for a spilt second, maybe he is. Maybe this is what she needs.

In reality there was never a way she was always going to be able to hide this; from Edward, or from the Pack. She was going to have to take it on the chin, have the discussions that she would rather not.

Because something like this didn't just go away.

She couldn't just 'get past it'.

She had to face it head on, before she ended up as a casualty to the cause.

And because maybe... there was more at stake than just her.

.


	9. Chapter 9

[ IX ]

.

Carlisle closes the door softly as Leah takes a seat. It's just the two of them in the silence of the room.

The windows cascade from ceiling to floor, revealing the view of the ocean, which lies just a few hundred meters away. The view is untouched, sloping gardens reaching all the way to the sands. The ocean is less furious here, more calm and steady, more of how she wishes her heart to be. But the thumping won't stop, wont stop because Edward had barely given her a second more than a glance and then turned his back and fled.

"He's always been very sensitive, our Edward." Carlisle affirms as if reading her mind. "He tends to... over-think situations. Places guilt upon his own shoulders as if it were to lesson the pain of others."

Leah nods, gently biting the inside of her mouth. Her eyes remain trained on the ocean however, the dark calm of its expanse. The sun is obscured by clouds, casting a strange feeling within her gut. It was warmer here yes, but the weather was just as bleak as Forks it seems.

"Why does he do that?" Leah asks as she turns to the father figure of the family.

Carlisle Cullen. Forever young, and yet the wisest of them all. The most accomplished. The most... _human_.

The vampire clears his throat, offering her a seat by extending an invitation by hand.

"I was practising medicine in Chicago when I first laid eyes on Edward. Both his mother and father had died from Spanish influenza and Edward himself were on his deathbed. His mother had begged me to save her son before her death, begged me and inciting I do anything within my power. I waited two days. Thinking on her request.

You see - I had always been alone; lived many lifetimes alone and only had myself to appease. I don't know what made Elizabeth different. What made her request any different from the other hundreds of mothers that had begged me to save their children. It was a different time then. People perished without so much as a thought."

Carlisle shifts, taking his human-like breaths as if they were needed. As if, he were more than just a marble statue, untouched but disease, by famine, by time.

"I changed Edward on the third night, just before he could succumb to his sickness."

Leah interrupts. "What does this have to do with anything?"

The older man nods, understanding her frustration.

"Before I turned Edward, I knew nothing about him. It was only after he was reborn, did I understand his natural talents. Talents that I had never possessed, had never dreamed of possessing. But nevertheless, no matter how talented I thought him to be, Edward only saw a monster when he stared into a mirror. A monster that had been saved, instead of his parents. A monster that had been given life, a second chance, only to have to destroy lives, in exchange, to keep the imitation of his."

"He struggled to understand his place in the world. Struggled with the burden of rights and wrongs. He - _Edward_ believed that loving something - _someone_ \- so much, always came with a price. He had loved his parents, loved Esme as a mother when she joined our family - still loves her. But not without price. He left us once, left to find the true meaning of his existence. Only... instead of finding light, he found darkness.

Edward killed Charles Evenson - the man ultimately responsible for Esme and her son's deaths. He loved Esme so much, that he could not bare the thought of justice being undelivered to a man - _an animal_ \- who had raised hands upon her day after day.

It was the first life he took. And oh how I wished it had been the last."

He takes a slow controlled breath.

"Edward believes he will destroy you, Leah. As atonement for the life that grows inside you. And that he will live on, drowning in the burning knowledge that he killed you because he cared too much. Just as he had served justice on the guilty, justice would be served on him as penance for... physically loving another more than his beliefs ever allowed him to."

Leah runs a hand over the small bump in her mid-section. It was still only a distant dream, but each day, as her stomach grew harder, as the wings of a thousand butterflies flipped through her, she knew, each day brought her closer to a dream she was never allowed to have before. A dream that had been so far from consciousness, she had stripped it from her thoughts altogether.

Until now.

She still isn't sure if she deserves this, whether she wants it, whatever it was.

But, after the last few days, after quiet contemplation, she wants to at least try.

"He's told you this?" Leah asks softly, her fingers widening out over the expanse of her girth.

"Not in as many words. Which is why I wanted to speak to you myself. We have so much to discuss. Edward, as you may suspect, wants me to explain the dangers to you, explain what might happen to a woman who carries a _Dhampir_. He wants me to convince you that your safety cannot be guaranteed. That you should destroy what grows inside you.

But... I believe I can help you, Leah.

I believe you can both be saved."

.

He stares out at the ocean, a wooden planked pier beneath his shoes.

He doesn't think about the fact that he is out in the open thanks to the dark rolling clouds which sit out over the bay.

Bruceport, Washington.

Another hole in the wall town, another life of pretending, at least for Carlisle and Esme. He's glad his siblings had not followed, glad because even he does not know where to begin, how to explain. Because how could he explain that he had done the exact same thing he'd left Bella for. He was bad, wrong, soulless. Even without meaning to, he was about to kill the one thing that had made everything less crippling.

That had saved him, from himself.

He had begged Carlisle to help him, begged him to save her. Begged for not only allegiance, but for secrecy. They were from different worlds, different universes. She was the stand-in Alpha of a shape-shifting wolf pack and he was a vampire, her sworn enemy, the reason she was the way she was. He and his family's presence alone in Forks had triggered an unstoppable chain reaction. A reaction so great, it shook both their worlds before slamming them together in the midst of a war. A war against his kind, a war that had been started because of his love for a small town girl whom he couldn't give up. Not until it was too late.

"Leah-" he whispers, scenting the undertone of lilac swirling under his nose.

He can hear her heart, hear how her blood pushes through her veins. She smells sweeter though. Sweeter than any wine he's ever boldly scented, sweeter than ripe fruit on a warm summers day. Seth had warned him about the change. Warned him that while she remained with-child, her wolf was moving towards hibernation. Towards dormancy.

And springing forth was something more mouth watering than Edward had ever imagined.

Spices, dew, the mountain air, the ocean spray, wild flowers. All tones combined to produce her unattainable scent.

_Her human scent._

He swallows deftly as he turns, his eyes finding her not barely a few feet away. She's got a look on her face, one he can't decipher. He wants to shrink to his knees, maybe beg for forgiveness. Because even though he had heard only rumours over the years, heard legends, myths, he never once thought it could ever be true or that his life would directly be impacted by it.

Her air blows gently against her face, the sea breeze drifting around her in dance. Her mouth is pressed into a small frown, her hand ghosting over the bump that he had yet to see for himself. His eyes drift down to her torso, inspecting it with the most discretion he can muster. It's not noticeable, unless you knew what you were looking for. But the jeans and blouse she wears gives it life. Gives her a soft rounded mid-section, one which he, for the life of him, cannot look away from.

This was his crime. And his punishment. At a time when a normal human would be joyous in the knowledge of bringing life, he was effectively taking hers.

She licks her bottom lip in a strange manner, collecting his attention once again. "Carlisle and I spoke. At length."

His nods in affirmation.

"For weeks I've had this stupid tune stuck in my head," she tells him as she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "Da da da dum, dum da da de."

She chuckles in frustration trying to mimic the tune that's plagued her even in her sleep.

"Super fucking annoying, right?"

Edward frowns. He doesn't know why she's bringing this up. Why she's diverting their whole conversation. The reason for her being here.

"Trust me. Every waking moment it's in my head. Driving me absolutely _crazy_. And for the life of me I can't figure out where I picked it up from. The radio? Television? Until just _now_."

She walks towards him, and his instinct compels him to back away. But he doesn't. Because if he's truthful with himself, he's missed her. Missed breathing her in, missed listening to her rant and rave, missed spending the nights with her, as she warmed his bed and maybe even his heart. Made him more complete than he's felt in months.

Grabbing his hand, she places it on her stomach. Not on the top as he expects, but down below. He's confused but complies, widening his fingers so he can feel more of her. They aren't flesh to flesh, but he still feels the tiniest of vibrations against his palm. He quirks a brow before he presses with more intent. Not enough to hurt, but firm enough to feel every little tremor.

"It's him. His heart. He has a heartbeat."

Edward's whole existence crumbles around him. "_What - I don't - **how**?_"

She shrugs, "Don't ask me. I'm not the one whose been to medical school. Carlisle thinks that we'll be lucky. That _my_ gene will override yours."

Edward hisses, stepping back. "No! Carlisle promised he would tell you the dangers! You could die!"

"He's strong, Edward. But not stronger than I am." She tells him as she advances.

"Leah, your scent. Your wolf is leaving you." He almost cries, trying to make her see reason. "You won't survive this."

"Edward," she says sternly, reaching to grasp the cuff of his shirt. "Listen to me. Whatever you think is happening, isn't. My wolf, she's still there, under the surface. She'll be there when I need her. She hasn't let me down so far. Carlisle wants to be sure of course, but he said if that was the case, there would be very little risk to me. To _him_."

Edward almost wails as he grabs on to her wrists tightly, pulling her closer. "HIM! What about YOU? Damn it, Leah. This could kill you!"

"Get your fucking hands OFF her!" Seth commands as he stomps up the pier towards them.

Edward glances down, quickly letting go as if she had suddenly burned him. His eyes are apologetic and desperate as he looks into the face of the Quileute girl that he's come to care about.

"Easy, Seth." Leah whispers as she rubs her wrists. "It's fine. I'm good. It was just a misunderstanding."

Leah glances at him, her gaze softening. "Carlisle will run tests each Thursday to track the progress. It's up to you whether you would like to be present or not, Edward."

And with that, she leaves; leaves him standing there.

With a choice.

.

Leah and Seth eat in silence.

After wandering around the small beach-side town they'd finally found a cafe. It was a small family run place but the menu intrigued them enough to stay.

Even though Leah feels like hurling, she eats slowly, picking at the grilled chicken wrap and sweet potato fries. Reaching out she sips her vanilla shake, drawing her eyes from the crashing of the waves back to her brother.

He sits, slightly dejected, shoving his triple hamburger into his mouth, though with less vigour than usual. She can always tell when something is bothering him and she has to urge to slap him across the back of the head, and snap at him to stop whatever it is he is tossing over in his head.

"Ask me, Seth. Whatever it is you're thinking about, ask me." She tells her brother, annoyed with the silence between them.

Families, having taken shelter from the bad weather, flitter around them in the cafe serving as the only noise in the vicinity. Leah catches sight of a little girl; all curls and smiles, and feels an uncomfortable shift inside her.

Seth sets his burger down, wiping at the sides of his mouth. "What did you and Carlisle talk about?"

She rolls her eyes. "Unicorns and rainbows, _obviously_."

"Right." Seth replies, brushing past the sarcasm, "Edward told me that having a... uh, natural birth is unlikely."

Leah picks at her food, triple dipping her fry before actually placing it in her mouth.

"Truth is... we don't know. Carlisle is convinced that the fact that both Edward and I have an extra chromosome or whatever, that somehow it won't be as dangerous as a human and vampire... birth. I told him about everything, the day in the kitchen, my scent,; but he seems to think it's all just a natural progression. He's calling it a true hybrid situation."

Seth raises his brows, "How so?"

"If I were human, it would be a situation where _my_ half of the equation were the weaker. It would essentially be like growing an atom bomb inside me. A vampire is designed to destroy human biology. Venom counteracts with human blood, changing it through destruction. But having the wolf, having her strength, the healing abilities, I wouldn't just be using my body to grow something. The child will have equal parts wolf and vampire. And because the two factors haven't killed it yet, and may have actually fused, the baby might be fine. Maybe completely human? Maybe both sides of us will cancel each other out?

I don't really know. Neither does Carlisle. That's why he wants to meet each week and track the progress."

He drums his fingertips on the plastic table top. "And Edward?"

Leah shrugs, catching sight again of the little girl who is taking animatedly to her family, chocolate sauce smeared across her mouth.

"When Sam and I broke up, and I found out I was pregnant, I didn't have enough time to make a choice. My wolf, she didn't know, how could she have? Maybe being with a human is not an option for me. Why else would I lose Sam's baby? Maybe that's why..."

Her throat dries. She doesn't want to speak ill of others, but maybe that's why Emily couldn't explain to Sam why they weren't yet pregnant. She knows - first hand - that they had been trying for months with no success. In her mind Leah didn't believe birthing a child made one a woman, but Emily's old world views did, and that was what mattered.

"Hey," Seth ebbs, grabbing her shoulder from across the table and giving it a quick squeeze. "Forget everything else, okay. If nothing else, this baby will have an awesome set of uncles within the pack. They may not like it, but they will respect you. And this child will be a part of us, a Quileute, like all of us. No matter his or her parentage."

Leah smiles softly at her brother.

She didn't deserve an inch of the man in front of her.

.


	10. Chapter 10

[ X ]

.

The fact that the pack needs to know what is happening, what she has done, pulls at her insides.

She can feel her stomach flop, the lunch that she'd shared with Seth nothing more than a distant memory. The ride home is less disparaging, but the tension that builds in her muscles feels anything but normal. She chews her lip, picks at her nail, smooths down her hair over and over again. It's an almost manic behaviour, one she hates that she had no control over. She puts it down to nerves, but most of all, the impending feeling of disappointment.

She has no claim over being perfect, none of them do, but this was something more.

This was more than a mistake.

This was a conscious choice; to begin a twisted relationship of sorts, with a being she had no business doing so with, one that her ancestors had morally fought against, in every aspect.

She had laid with death, and given life to a creature so unique, none of them had any idea what it would bring.

However through it all, through all of the despair, the crippling weight of disappointing not only her pack, but her mother and tribe, there's a small nudge of completeness. She knows pregnancy doesn't make a woman a _woman_, but the fact that she is pregnant, the fact that she has been blessed with something that she never _ever_ thought possible since her first phase, fills her with a sense of warmth, a sense of something right, even if she can't see it just yet. She feels it though, deep inside, feels as though this one thing, made between two beings who were blindly flailing in the darkness of life, who were both incomplete; had made this one tiny piece of perfection.

This one _complete_ life.

When she had walked into the wash of the Pacific Ocean she hadn't thought, she had let fear rule her mind. In that moment she could not see straight, could not see that even though the path before her twisted and curved, held peril in every direction, that eventually there would be light. That somewhere there would be a light so blinding, it would illuminate everything behind and before her.

It would illuminate even the darkest corners which held her doubt, her cowardice and even her shame.

"We're here."

Leah blinks as the car pulls to a stop outside her childhood residence. The yard is slowly beginning to overgrow, the fixtures in desperate need of an added lick of paint, but its home. It's a safe place and it's hers and her brothers. It's a place that holds both the best and worst memories. Of growing up, of the love of her family, her father, her mother, even Sam and Jacob. Every moment had been catalogued here. Every moment that belonged to her history, and soon, her future.

A long time ago she had come to the realisation that she would never leave La Push; never leave Washington State. She would become part of the forest, and she would stay there. Part of her had always wanted to travel, to leave and explore the different worlds that existed across the ocean; but she was like a tree. Planted and firm; destined to remain where it was born, where it had been seeded and given life.

She envied Jacob and Edward for that mere fact. Their ability leave, should they decide to.

"I'm going to call a pack meeting tomorrow. Are you okay with that?"

She nods at her brother whose face is stern in serious thought. He's far too young to carry this burden; to carry _her_ burdens.

"Lee," he starts, wiping a hand over his face, "you don't have to be there. I can tell the pack. It might lessen the blow. You know how Paul gets. Not to mention Sam will be there as well."

Leah nods. She knows exactly how Paul can get. And Sam - Sam had been distraught after finding out about the incident after her first phase. Not only that, his own personal self-worth had been shaken, his whole merit been questioned. It didn't take long for him to explode in chaotic anger, his self-hate soon turning outwardly on the only person who he could blame.

Her.

She had been 'the bitch' for not telling him. For not giving him a chance to even try to mend the broken bridges. Not to form a relationship, no. But to at least be a part of her life, of her journey. For not giving him a chance to be there with her. _For_ her.

Leah had lost it after that. It wasn't like she could control phasing, just like Sam couldn't control imprinting on her cousin. He acted as if fucking her cousin while his hooks were still firmly implanted under Leah's skin was somehow irrelevant. That he hadn't broke up with her before he went and stuck his dick in someone else was a defunct reason for Leah not coming to him as soon as she found out about the pregnancy. As if just by having his child he had a right over her, and hers.

"It's fine, Seth. I'll be there. I want to be the one to tell them. It's only right."

Absent-mindedly she rubs a hand over her barely there bump.

"What about Jake?"

Leah bristles at the mention of his name. "What about _him_?"

Seth taps his fingers against the steering wheel, his gaze locked in front of them. She can tell the cogs are turning in her brothers head, shifting and realigning all the possibilities of what was to come. Throwing Jacob Black into the mix is not only pointless, but useless. He left the pack. Left them all behind. Especially her. And he had no right to know what was happening.

"Okay." Seth huffs, as he gets out of the car. "I'll see you later then."

"You're not coming in?"

Her brother squeezes her shoulder with a pause, before his eyes shift to the tree-line. "I'm gonna run for a bit. I need to... clear my head. I'll be fine and I won't be long."

Leah hesitates for a moment. "I'm sorry, Seth. For everything."

He lets out a chuckle as he walks backwards with a shrug, removing his shirt and throwing it onto the hood of the car.

"You've got nothing to apologise for. I'll see ya soon."

.

Dinner is a simple event.

Charlie sits at one end of the table, her mother at the other end, with Seth and her positioned between them. The mood is sombre, silence overlapping the conversation that would have normally taken place back when her father sat at the same table and back before her mother had a cancer that was hell bent on ending her life.

"You look nice tonight," Sue comments, her hand coming down to pat Leah's gently.

She does all she can to smile but Leah can see the turmoil in her mother's eyes. Both Leah and her brother are really only just exploring the world as adults themselves, and yet, their mother, the single most important part of their family, is about to reach the end of hers.

Leah touches her own cheek, knowing that the blush under her skin is more prominent nowadays. Even the sun-freckles she gained as a child had bloomed again. It makes her feel silly that the wolf inside her had matured her body in such a way she never realised. Even the sharpness in her face was slowly softening. She was starting to look exactly how she looked five years ago before the phase.

It was both exhilarating and terrifying.

"Thanks, mama."

Before the sombre mood can fill the silence once again, Seth interjects.

"But we all know who the good looking one in the family is, right mom?"

Leah rolls her eyes and quirks a smile seeing Seth flex, and pout his lips.

"Of course, sweetheart," Sue chuckles as she pushes the food around her barely touched plate.

.

With the sun long gone over the horizon, the night's chill descends on the small Forks home.

It seems strange to Leah that her mother no longer lives in the house she once shared with her father, the house she raised her children in, but her mother's happiness did not belong to earthly possessions. All her life her mother had instilled the importance of family, the importance of self-pride, and most of all the importance of faith.

Her grandmother's wool blanket lays around their shoulders as they lean back on the plastic mesh-lounger in the middle of the open garden. The nights wonder is lit up with a million stars, twinkling silently in the dark above them.

Leah feels like a child again as she rests her head against her mother's shoulder, a soft human arm wrapped gently around her midsection. She remembers nights like this, sharing her teenage burdens with her mother, first about school, friends and tribe events, then about boys, her period, college and love. Her mother no doubt remembers the worst of it, especially when Sam had disappeared.

But there were also the good times, the secrects they shared, gossiping and swooning over the teenage Sam she used to be in love with.

Samuel Uley had been one of the most important people in Leah's life once upon a time. Young love, first touches, dates, kisses. He had set the bar for every boy to come after him, had set it so high Leah never imagined loving anyone the way she loved that stupid boy. Maybe that's what had made it so hard to let him go, so hard to forgive him. He wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Samuel, her Sam, had been real. And then, suddenly, he was gone. Had been erased from her life completely, almost as if he hadn't been there at all.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" Her mother asks softly, the cool air catching on her breath like a cloud.

Leah licks her drying lips, and continues to stare out towards the tree-line. Even though Charlie's house was in Forks, it still backed onto dense forestry reminding her of the old yard in LaPush. The greenhouse her mother and Charlie had built a few years back sits off the edge of the property, a dim warm yellow light glowing from within the confines.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?" Leah blinks as she focuses, gazing at her mother. "Nothing much."

Sue smiles as she rubs a cold hand over her daughter's cheek. "You are my child, my first born, and you always will be. I can tell when something is bothering you."

Leah huffs out a breath and moves her cheek to rest back on her mother's shoulder once again.

Her mother sighs, though a smile rests on her lips. "Do you remember the time we sat outside, even through the snow, just you and me?"

Closing her eyes tightly, Leah nods.

"You were fourteen years old. Worried about doing your brother's hair for his first pow wow... among other things. As I recall, Jacob Black was also on your mind."

The world around them flashes, memories washing over Leah. She recalls events in perfect high definition since her phase, but before that, the images are muddy, unclear and without sound.

"You were a junior and summer was almost over. You spent most of the summer with Sally Ateara and I, learning everything you could about Quileute customs. You thought it would somehow help with your braiding abilities. Sally was a much better teacher than I, considering I'm from Makah, but I'd spent enough of my life with your father here in LaPush to know the basics."

She does remember Quil's grandmother. Sally had passed away a few years later but she remembers the hard lines of her face and the impossibly sour expression that sat there every time she saw the woman.

"Most of the time was spent at the old Ateara home and during your breaks you'd sit out back and hang out with Quil. 'Shooting the shit' Quil referred it as." Her mother stops to chuckle at the memory. "And wherever that boy was, Jacob Black and Embry Call were always close by. Thick as thieves, even as children. You really didn't mind Quil, that much I could tell. And you were indifferent with Embry who was a sweet boy even back then. But Jacob, dear me, you would both fight like rez dogs. Sniping each other about everything. It was strange because you were both so good as kids. After weeks of hurt feelings, the blood lip you gave Jake, and the bruise on your shin, he finally kissed you."

Leah perks up and looks at her mother in both suspicion and interest. "I don't remember him kissing me."

Her mother smiles, specks of light finally reaching her warm brown eyes. "Well he certainly did. Even Billy can attest to it. He was extremely interested in you both after that. Old coot could barely stop blabbing around the rez how his son was going to make him a proud grandfather some day."

"Jesus," Leah laughs as she settles back against the mesh and stares up at the sky. "He hasn't changed at all."

"Billy? Lord, no. That man will die a fool. But - it was sweet. You were in shock, until your father heard about it. He threatened Billy that day. I couldn't stop laughing and told your father to quit it. He was always meddling in things he shouldn't have been."

Reaching up Leah touches her lips, trying to recall the kiss. Not nearly a year ago she would have welcomed it. To have felt his mouth on hers, to have been held, to have shared something delicate with him, to have been his. She had almost given in when they had travelled together to Seattle to visit Rachel after her graduation.

_Almost_.

"I miss him," she says quietly.

She means her father but Jacob's face flashes inside her head.

Dark brown eyes, that smile that made her either want to smack him right in the mouth or fall in love with him.

"I know, sweetheart. But what I am trying to get at here is this; something that seems like one thing at face value, isn't always the truth. I know something is wrong, but I'm not going to pry like your father would. I am going to let you kick and scream and give whoever it is that needs it, a bloody lip, and let you work it out. The answer isn't always what you expect, but sometimes it's welcome.

And sometimes, well sometimes it's even what you've needed all along."

.

Alaska is the last place Edward wants to be, yet there he stands, in the middle of the frozen tundra, in a blazing snow storm.

His coat dances violently around his body, whipping back and forth in anger. His dress shoes are half frozen, his hair and mouth tipped with icicles. The breath that catches on the air is heavy, almost void. He doesn't need air, but he still has the urge to fill his lungs with it, has always had strange urges of human remembrance.

"_Honestly_," Tanya thinks from somewhere between the white shadows of the distance, allowing his ability to bloom after having been intimate with silence for the last twelve hours. "_Come now, Edward. You can't punish yourself._"

Edward curses the Gods, all of them.

From the Geek Gods of Athens, to the Nordic Gods of the world tree Yggdrasil. He curses Jehovah, Allah, Buddha and the all Hindu deities in the entirety.

Curses _anyone_ who will listen.

He screams his frustrations straight into the storm, allowing the booming hum of the wind it drown it out. His anger, his distress, his vexation blasting from each inch of his body.

He feels like lead as he drops to a knee and takes his frustration out on the cold hard ground beneath him. Blow after blow he hammers his fist against the white ice, hating its existence.

"Edward," Irina scolds as she places a tentative hand on his tensed shoulder. "_Stop_. You cannot blame yourself. You did not know this would happen."

"Get off me," He hisses, cowering from the vampires touch, sinking deeper toward the ice. "Leave me to die."

"So dramatic," Tanya huffs as she arrives to stand by her sister, blonde hair sweeping back from her face from the torrent of glacial air. "She is part human. Humans die. It is the way of the world, or have you forgotten that?"

Before Tanya can breathe another word, he has her pinned by her slender neck, her back crushed against the snow white earth. He hisses dangerously in threat, ready to end her. His lips pull back to reveal his fangs, his true vampiric nature springing forth. No matter what he said or thought personally, he would not allow anyone to whisper a negative word about Leah. Tanya did not know her; and she had no right to utter a foul breath on the matter.

"Easy, dear boy." Irina gently encourages as she pries his fingers away from her sister's throat. "Tanya meant no harm. Let's just go inside out of the storm and we can talk."

"She can't die," he whispers, shrugging Irina from his forearm like a spoilt boy. "She can't leave me here."

Helping Tanya up, Irina can't help but soften her gaze, pity seeping in at the sight of his suffering.

"Well... you can either sulk out here or do something about it, Edward. Carlisle called us, told us to expect you after you disappeared. He also told us there is hope for the girl and the...child. Even with a small amount of hope, there is still hope.

And if she dies, wouldn't you rather be there with her? Wouldn't you rather spend the last days with her, even if it had an expiry? Wouldn't you rather love her for giving you some small merit of happiness, no matter how short, than hate her for hurting you?"

.


	11. Chapter 11

[ XI ]

.

Before the pack arrives at 10am, Leah makes a call.

It's a call which she's dreaded, one she wishes she would never have to make. Her reasoning is clear. Every issue in her current life was linked too closely to the other woman. Her decisions have already been scrutinised in detail, prodded and inspected. Though, how could she expect anything less from someone who had cared for her; _still_ cared for her? Who had helped heal her, who had been there and had always promised to be there?

It's just past nine when her guest arrives.

She can tell Rachel is still salty since their last discussion which had escalated quickly into an argument. Leah knows words were said in the heat of the moment, words that were hard to forget now that they were in front of each other. But she knows she has to bite the bullet, just this one time. Because losing was something Leah hated more than anything, and she wasn't about to lose any one else.

"I'm... sorry."

Rachel blinks rapidly at the words that fall out of her mouth.

"What was that? I could have sworn you just apologised to me. But that can't be it. Leah Clearwater, big bad bitch of LaPush, would never apologise, because she doesn't need anyone. No way, no how."

Leah scrubs her face. She should have expected this.

"I get it. I said shit... and I'm sorry."

Rachel grins. "One more time."

"I'm sorry."

"_For_?"

"For being a brat. You know I can't do anything without you."

Rachel contemplates her words for a moment before nodding. "Apology accepted. Now, what the hell am I doing here so early? WAIT! You're not dying are you? Oh my god, I knew it, why else would you apologise-"

"I'm not dying Rach. At least, not yet."

"What the hell does that mean!? Don't even try to fu-"

Rachel stutters out a breath when Leah pulls up her jumper and rolls a palm over her midsection. The woman's eyes almost bug out of her head when she sees the protruding bump that was definitely bigger than it had been after Carlisle had run the first set of tests and prodded and poked to his utmost demure delight.

"Leah - _wha_ \- I mean - _oh fuck_."

Rachel Black is rarely rendered speechless and Leah can't help but smile just that little bit wider.

.

It takes her exactly twenty-three minutes to explain everything to the pack.

Jared and Paul turn to each other, concern written in their dark eyes. Embry, Quil and Brady hover to the left, their curious gazes flicking from her to Seth, who stands on her right. His arms are crossed over his chest, his narrowed eyes keeping sights set on Sam's every movement.

To the surprise of everyone, Sam is completely silent, but that doesn't settle any of Seth's hostility towards the man.

Rachel, who stands on her left, touches her elbow gently, forcing her to continue, regardless of the looks from the boys in front of her. Seth and Rachel had promised a united front, a support base. And no matter what was said, or done, they would be there with her.

"I wanted all of you to hear it from me first. I'm sorry for keeping this, but some of it really is none of your business. I just wanted to let you know, so you know what will happen next."

Jared speaks first. "Are you sure _this_ is what you want, Clearwater?"

She nods.

"Leah - _look_," Jared starts, his hands flailing in the air, "I'm not trying to change your mind, or convince you otherwise, but you do know that... having _that_ child... it's putting a huge fucking target on this area. The tribe. You know the Volturi have a messed up fascination with shit... like _this_. I really feel for you Leah, honestly I do, but this is bigger than just you and that... Cullen. This really should involve all of us, which I know sounds like something only a dick-head would say, but it does."

Leah listens, processing Jared's words inside her head.

"We are always going to be by your side, fight with you, for you, especially for this... _part of you_, because it's a part of all of us. But it's not going to be easy, Leah. Demetri's fucked up mind tracking mojo shit has the ability to reveal everything to the Volturi if we aren't careful. Even if this information stays between the pack, it's going to get out. _Eventually_. The only way to keep a secret is for everyone who knows it, to be dead."

He's right, he always is. Jared is a quick thinker, a great analyser, and this was definitely something she hadn't thought of.

A trickle of unease wedges underneath her ribs, pressing against her lungs.

Taking a deep breath, she tries to expel the feeling.

"We are taking it one step at a time, Jared. I promise. If and when the time comes, I'll handle though this child is a part of me, I am still responsible for all of you. And we are responsible for our people. Therefore it's only right that I step down as Alpha for a few months. As Beta, Seth will take my place.

You will answer to him and you will continue to work together to build this pack to a far stronger unit than it's ever been. I appreciate the sacrifice you are all making, not just for me but for the whole tribe."

Sam growls in frustration, his black eyes full of not only anger, but hurt.

"I know it is a lot to ask, but I'll ask it anyway. _This_ secret is _mine_, even though I have shared it with you. After today, you will not speak on the matter, nor will you seek any type of revenge on the Cullen's. I am not faultless in this situation, I know, but this is now a matter of safety, the less people who know, the better. If you have an issue, take it up with _me_. Otherwise, this is the last time it will ever discuss this. Not even my mother and Charlie are to be told. Nor the other imprints."

The boys around her nod, though she can see they would rather agree to kill a small kitten than accept the orders.

"Seth will pick a Beta in the next few days and let you know."

She has always wondered how the great leaders of history couldn't just make the right choice, the obvious choice, but now she knows.

Because regardless of choice, even a right choice, there was always a price to pay.

_Always_.

.

Seth is on patrol while Leah sits at the dining room table. This is exactly when _he_ decides to make his presence known.

"Do you mind if we talk a moment?"

"Sam- I really don't have-"

"_Please_."

Sam's voice has always been her favourite thing about him, even back when she was a girl. It was both rough and gentle, all at the same time. There was something about talking with him late at night on the phone, or in hushed whispers in her teenage bedroom, that always calmed a part of her manic and irrational need to over think. His tone, the depth of his words, even the way he would hum in her ear, following the rhythm of an old song playing on the radio.

She supposes she can spare a moment, given their history.

Not that he deserved it.

_But_ \- she had asked them all to come to her if they had an issue, and she wouldn't turn any of them away, especially on the grounds of personal issues.

"Sure. Take a seat. Would you like something to drink? Tea, coffee-"

"Water is fine." He replies as he slides stiffly into the chair.

It takes him four minutes and thirteen seconds to form words.

Between the hair pulling and the face scrubbing, she knows he is beyond frustrated.

To be honest, she had expected more from Sam. Expected him to make a scene, to shout, yell, throw accusations and damn near condemn her to the bottomless pit of the afterlife.

What she hadn't expected him to do was think before he spoke, to take care in his approach.

Maybe Emily had been rubbing off on him.

Finally.

"I don't know what to say," he begins, wiping a hand over his neck, his eyes seemingly everywhere but on her. "This is... extreme. Even by your standards. If only I-"

And that's exactly where she stops him.

"Sam. _This_ isn't about _you_. I didn't do this to get back at you, or because of anything _you_ did."

"If I hadn't imprinted on Emily-"

"Don't, Sam."

"This is bigger than you or I, I know that." He hisses desperately, staring at her midsection. "But if I could go back so this... mistake never happened, you know I would."

"I don't see it as a mistake, Sam. Sure, I was careless, but this isn't a mistake. This baby-"

He groans, laying his head in his hands. "How can you even be sure that's what is it? A baby? It's not right. You need to end this, Leah. It's too dangerous for everyone, especially you."

Leah takes a breath through her nose.

Slowly.

This was the problem. She had let go of Sam, of that part of her life that she had once wanted with him. But he hadn't let go of her. Not so much their relationship, but his power over her. She wants to be rational, wants to listen to his concerns, wants to ease any doubt or worries he has. But she can't when he's thinking like the Sam he used to be, and not the Sam he is now.

So instead of trying to argue the point, or trying to make him see her side of sense, she does the exact opposite.

"Sam," she starts, lowering the timbre in her voice, lowering the walls she's learned to build up all around her. "I'm sorry."

He blinks hurriedly, confusion written over his features and tightened brow.

"I'm sorry you feel the need to dictate to me what you believe I should be doing with my life. I'm sorry you don't understand that whatever you think we had could still exist and that I would continue to hang on to each word as we did as teenagers. I'm sorry if I've given you the impression that I wanted, what we had, to still matter. Because I don't. You know that, Sam. You know that my life is my own, and I will do with it as I will."

He hisses sharply, understanding the double edged blade of the comment. "The council will _never_ allow-"

Before he can get out a full sentence, Leah spits sharply. "You will mention _NOTHING_ to the council. They _will_ hear me, and when they do, then they will have a choice on what an acceptable punishment will be. _YOU_ are to stay out of it. _YOU_ are to go home and make my cousin feel secure and safe in her relationship. _YOU_ gave up on us, Sam, but I won't allow you to give up on Emily. So worry about your _WIFE_, and leave me and mine, out of your god damn thoughts."

It doesn't escape either, that every word spoken had been an Alpha command.

.

_"I don't see the damn point of this!"_

_"It builds character."_

_Letting out a short frustrated scream, Leah throws the wooden log aside, her gaze sweeping across each of the pack members around her. All of them are nothing but a bunch of pawns listening to the commands of a weak fool who'd been so easily swayed by the pull of fate. "Character? Are you fucking kidding me? Hauling a whole lotta wood from one edge of the forest, to the other, doesn't build anything except resentment. Namely against you."_

_"Leah." Sam sighs tiredly. "Pick up the damn wood and keep going. Everyone's putting in the same work. You're not alone in this."_

_"OH blow me, you self-righteous dictator."_

_Paul sniggers as he shuffles the large trunk in his arms, turning to smugly smile in her direction. "Did you forget? He's been there, done that, Clearwater. I've seen it. In high definition."_

_Leah feels her face heat in anger. "I will end you, moron."_

_"Ooooo, I'm scared. The girlie wolf is going to attack me." He squeals in delight._

_"Simmer down, Leah," Sam sighs as he glances from her to Paul. _

_Leah scoffs, knowing that of course Sam would take Paul's side thanks to their never ending high school bromance. Sam would have been better off imprinting on Paul, then she would actually understand.  
_

_"If you can't handle it, I'm sure Sam would allow you to sit out of this one. We don't mind showing you how it's done." Paul gloats, Jared and Embry chuckling a few meters back, while her brother looks on in concern at her trembling breaths._

_Before Leah can respond, a large palm has her by the forearm and is dragging her away from the group. _

_She struggles and shouts and spits at him to let her 'the fuck go' but his grip is like steel, pressing down and pulling her further into the dense forest as if she were nothing more than a rag doll. _

_After a few minutes she can't help but give up the fight, until he slows and gently releases her. _

_She rubs her arm, the biting bruises already fading on her skin._

_"Was that really necessary, Black? Who said you could even man handle me? I always wondered if being Beta gave you exclusive rights to being an asshole. Seems I was right."_

_He ignores her for a moment, opting to stare at the clearing in front of them. The way the sun catches the space illuminates the area to a point where it looks as if it's being ascended by light. Everything is lighter, the flowers, the trees; all bathed in glorious sunshine amidst the darkness of the forest in which they stand._

_Instead of answering her previous questions, he starts speaking as if she never had._

_"You need to move on."_

_Leah recoils, anger now building in her fists. Her ears feel as if they are bright red, as if steam were about to pour out of her brain from the absolute bullshittery that the kid was spouting. "Excuse me? Are you fucking kidding me?"_

_He takes a controlled breath, knowing the path he is walking down could end in disaster. _

_"This **thing** you have against Sam, it needs to end. Otherwise... it will destroy you." _

_His voice is gravely and it makes her stomach twist in knots. Heat builds in her throat, the hurt clamping down on her vocal chords._

_"What makes you think I'm not already there, Jacob? And please enlighten me. How did that go? When you listened to your own advice? Have you already forgiven the girl that ran off to Italy to save a Cullen after everything you did to fix her? _**_Have you_**_?" _

_She's almost shouting but she wants it to hurt, hurt as much as she hurts each day._

_Jacob grits his teeth. "That's different, Leah, and you know it."_

_"Oh really, tell me HOW?"_

_Leah doesn't wait for a response, instead she shoves against his chest, pushing him back._

_"Tell me oh-wise-one." - shove - "Tell me how you get over it!" shove - "It worked so well right?" - punch - "That she choose him? After everything you gave up! - shove - Everything you gave her!" - push - "That she's gone to save your enemy! - shove - That she cares more about him, than you!" - shove - "That she'll probably die-"_

_The wind sweeps out of her lungs in one swift swoop as he pins her to the tree. _

_His palm presses against her chest, the skin on her back tearing against the bark of the tree as she struggles. _

_He's in her face, not snarling, not shouting, but staring, his trembling eyes sparkling with emotion, his jaw clamped tight in both anger and hurt. _

_It's this that makes her realise she has, in fact, hurt him. _

_Good._

_"At least Sam is alive, Leah. At least he'll continue breathing, that he'll grow old... that he'll actually LIVE."_

_Leah fights the emotion in her own eyes, fights from allowing this _**_boy_**_ to see the despair that she has lived with for months. The absolute crushing disappointment that her love could not outweigh the love her cousin was able to give Sam. That she wasn't good enough. That Sam didn't fight hard enough. That he gave up. As if she were nothing but an after thought. _

_But like a hurricane, the destruction of something so great, cannot be hidden. _

_"AND THAT'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM JACOB! SAM GETS TO LIVE! HE GETS TO LIVE AFTER HE BROKE MY HEART! AND THAT'S SOMETHING I'LL **NEVER** GET OVER."_

_The way Jacob Black looks at her makes her want to collapse and shatter into a million pieces. _

_The last thing she would ever accept from him is pity._

_"Leah-"_

_"Save it."_

_She runs from his eyes, from the concern, the pity and the pack. _

_She runs from her memories, she runs from the pain, she runs because she can and there isn't anyone who would dare stop her. _

_She runs until her human feet are leaving bloody foot prints in their wake, and then falls to the forest floor, blinking at the stars that have refused to answer her questions since she was a child. _

_._


	12. Chapter 12

[ XII ]

.

The sun is hidden behind grey skies when she wakes.

The small bedroom of her childhood home seems colder somehow. The air inside is thick and damp from the cool morning she has woken to. The curtains barely hide the grey drab outside as she stretches and turns under the covers to glance at her phone. It's an ungodly hour but still she pulls the sheets off and places her feet on the floorboards.

Noticing the few missed calls she tries to figure out if she recognises the number. She listens to the messages left in the voice-mail, but nothing except silence greets her. She knows someone is there by the background sounds filtering through, a car horn, maybe the sounds of a television, but other than a few breaths, the caller is silent, leaving her with no clue as to who was calling her in the middle of the night.

After a hardy breakfast of French toast and far too much syrup, she showers, brushes her teeth and hair, and stands in her room in front of the full length mirror once again.

Even with the faded grey towel tucked above her breasts, she can see the rise of her bump.

With a tender rub, right in the middle of the crest, she smiles, feeling something more than just a butterfly's wing against her palm.

.

After her exam and the news from Carlisle that everything was progressing as planned, Leah sits in the love seat of the decorated living room.

The scent of fresh lilies tickle just under her nose, causing her to scrunch her face every few moments out of an automatic reaction. She doesn't like being in situations where the control was not in her hands, and she likes even less that her brother had dropped her off and left, to allow some semblance of privacy. 'I won't be far', he'd told her, but the idea of having to entertain her current company while she waited for him, was less than thrilling.

"Can I help you?" Leah asks, glancing at the woman across from her who continues to stare in silent contemplation.

She tries to drop the edge in her voice, but it still comes out gravely and unwelcome.

The woman's golden eyes feel like mirrors, reflecting Leah's image back toward her.

"Oh, no dear," the older woman smiles, gently tugging the ends of her pleated skirt which drapes minutely over her knees. Her honey blonde hair sits around her shoulders, perfectly, just like every inch of her demeanour.

Leah raises a brow, expecting a... more inept response.

Esme smiles again, her nerves getting the best of her. Somehow Leah thinks the mother vampire looks out of place slightly, even if it were her own home. After brushes with both nomad vampires and some of the other Cullen's, Leah can't help but think how... human... this one feels.

Similar to Edward, and yet, so different.

"It's just," Esme begins, choosing her words thoughtfully, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, "you're glowing. And you're already so beautiful. You're skin tone..."

Leah clears her throat, slightly uncomfortable at the notion. She has no reply except for the one she gives.

"Thanks?"

The woman seems to take this as her cue to stand and move closer, taking a seat by Leah. "Sometimes I wonder."

"About?"

"I wonder about the child. And how they will look. Whether they will have your eyes, or Edward's. His smile or your lovely dark hair."

After a moment of pause, and a glance to Leah's midsection, she continues.

"When I first gave birth to my son, I didn't quite know who he looked like. He was still so young that his features had not yet developed enough for us to tell... even though people would say that he had my eyes and hair, I could only see his father in him."

Fixing her skirt over her knees again, Esme speaks lightly, her tone changing ever so slightly.

"I know Edward is behaving... less than elegant. But he does care. That much I know is true, dear. Edward cares for you, he just doesn't know or understand how he can show it without putting you in harm's way. But _this_... is a wonderful gift, Leah, and neither Edward nor my husband will ever understand how it feels to have a child grow inside you. To be the only person able to protect them and love them throughout it all.

They will never understand the sacrifices a mother will endure for their child. And that, my dear, will _always_ separate us... from them."

.

"Mom asked about you again," Seth sighs as he throws himself on the couch, an arm thrown over his eyes.

Between patrols, running a pack of older wolves who had hearing problems and trying to deflect their mother each time he saw her, he was just about ready to crawl into his bed and sleep for a whole week. "She's going to drive herself over here if you don't go and see her."

"Shit," his sister mumbles, her light footsteps echoing into the living room.

He peeks from behind his arm, watching as she wrings a dish towel in her hands nervously. He hides the smile that continues to creep on his mouth each day he sees her again. Even though she hasn't changed a whole lot, there are subtle changes he picks up. The slight red tinge in her cheeks, the dark brown hair which has grown almost an inch is regaining that natural Clearwater wave she had as a teenager, the softness her body is moving towards.

"Maybe I should visit?" she mumbles, chewing at her bottom lip, deep in thought.

Seth's gaze moves down to his sister's mid-section. Barely two months along and the little bean is closer to the size of a small watermelon than just the bump he once was.

"Mom's going to notice - _THAT_ \- for sure." He affirms, his brows raising when he looks back into the sharp brown eyes of his sister.

"Damn it."

She huffs as she stomps off to the kitchen.

.

Leah is shopping in Forks when she feels the hairs on her arms stand to attention.

She stills the cart, her basic instincts flaring. Sight, smell and sense all alert her, though subtly. The sweet scent, now subdued, but still present, lingers just under her nose. Turning she checks the isle behind her, which is void of shoppers.

With a sigh, she turns back, only to find him standing there.

He looks a mess, dried dirt clinging to his normally polished dress shoes, his posture almost ready to crumble. His hair is windblown to one side, his whole form draped in black. His normally bright golden eyes are dull and look almost brown as they stare down at her. Under his stare she feels self-conscious, especially since she didn't expect to see anyone she knew, especially _him_.

The rain jacket, the baggy track pants, and her house slippers probably weren't the best choice but she had picked comfort over fashion. Baby bean was growing uncomfortably fast, and the fact that other women believed they had the right to touch her stomach almost made her blow a gasket the last time she had come into Forks to shop for food.

"Hello, Leah." Edward whispers, his gaze gently moving from her eyes to her stomach.

The grimace that crosses his mouth almost makes her want to cry.

She had given Edward a choice.

Stay away - and be a ghost or _stay_ \- and be a part of whatever future was to come.

"You're back," she says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

The vampire in front of her seems lost in thought until he answers. "I am."

Scrunching her nose she replies. "For how long?"

He blinks slowly - a breath, then two.

"For as long as you need me."

.

After a few days of driving herself insane with her nesting tendencies and her inability to let things go, she showers and dresses in a pair of jeans and a green sweater. Finding a pair of sneakers, she pulls them onto her feet and grabs the keys from the stand by the door.

"I'm going out," she shouts at her brother who is somewhere in the house, not bothering to wait for a reply.

The drive takes barely twenty minutes, and when she pulls into the driveway she's surprised to see a new black Range Rover parked by the house. She scans the area before she gets out of the truck and knocks at the door.

A strange feeling bubbles in her stomach as she waits. Nerves perhaps, or just plain fear, she doesn't know.

She knows this house like the back of her hand after being a 'guest' for weeks on end, so instead of waiting any longer, she pushes open the door.

.

Sliding the back door open, he is suddenly hit with the potent scent of mulberry and tea.

The edges of his eyes crease as he wills himself to stop hallucinating. There's only one person he knows who drinks such awful herbal teas. One who had barely said two full sentences to him since he's been back in the Olympic peninsula, one who had merely nodded her head and pushed her cart past him as if there weren't a million things they needed to discuss.

He freezes at the sight before him.

There in the living room, on the couch, a hand pushed under her cheek, head resting on the arm of the couch, lies a viridescent vision.

Her dark hair is draping against the white of the furniture, the emerald of her jumper against the soft mocha of her skin. Her eyelashes flutter but she remains still, legs tucked against each other, one of the cushions delicately tucked between her knees. He wonders if the cushion is because of her pregnancy and inches closer to sit atop the coffee table.

He knows he shouldn't sit and stare while she sleeps; knows because it's not becoming, that Leah had once told him before that it was 'creepy and weird'.

But the softness in her face, the way she looks so carefree, the way the scar that runs down her cheek is no longer taut and almost invisible. She looks, dare he say, content. _Happy_. If only just for now.

Instead of waking her and disturbing her peace he finds a knitted throw and drapes it over her.

.

A vibration on her hip is what wakes her.

Blinking her eyes open, she notices the house is dimly lit with several ceramic lamps. The warm yellow glow unsettles her until she realises where she is. She swears under her breath, pushing away the material covering her and reaches into her pocket.

"Yeh?"

"Where the hell are you? I've been calling for hours!"

Leah rolls her eyes as she moves to sit up, careful not to squash baby bean.

"Calm down, little brother. I'm fine." She huffs, mostly annoyed. "What's up?"

He lets out a huff of his own. "It's mom. You need to get to the hospital."

.

She doesn't have time to acknowledge the vampire in the room, nor explain her presence in his family's home. She wants to say so many things, but her mouth is too dry to start anything with him. Her mother was the priority and getting to her was the only desperate strain of thought pounding around both her head and her heart.

His fingers wrap around her elbow softly as she walks past him, stopping her in her tracks.

"Please. Take them, Leah. It was supposed to be a gift but-"

Leah's eyes watch as he dangles the key ring front of her.

Before she can chew him out, in his attempt to somehow 'buy' her loyalty or forgiveness, he shakes his head and presses the small key-less device and chain into her palm. His hands are cool to the touch and it causes the fine hairs to stand on her arms once again.

"_Please_. If I cannot drive you myself, take it. It will keep you safe in your haste. You have no idea how... how much... I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you."

Instead of arguing, she nods, disconnecting their hands.

She turn her head and gives him one last look before turning on her heel and hurrying towards the dark tinted SUV.

.

"Sweet ride," Paul comments knowingly as she pulls up at the hospital and locks the car.

Driving it had been a dream, even with its bulk. She figures the car is anything but a normal car. Edward had once tried to gift Bella a car which had been modified - ballistic glass, run-flat tires and an armour-encased passenger compartment.

This car, though sleek, seemed to have the same perks.

Leah rolls her eyes and tucks the key-less device into her jeans.

"Seth's already inside with Embry and Charlotte. Ward B. Room 8."

Leah knows there is no love lost between her and Paul. He would always be an asshole and she would always be the bitch. But even Paul, in all his unfavourable traits knows when to reign it in, and when not to. Between the pack, they could snipe, fight and piss each other off as much as they liked, but when it came to their human families, a new set of rules came into play.

Leah nods her thanks and drifts past the shirtless wolf.

.

"Here," Seth whispers as he presses a warm cup against her palm. "It's tea. Drink it. You look worse than mom does."

She smirks as she takes the cup, curling her hands around the warmth and taking a sip.

Her brother takes a seat in the hard plastic chair across from her, his deep brown eyes holding their mother's sleeping face in his orbs.

"She was at home. Charlie was at work. When he found her she was in the bathroom. She can't hold food down. The medication just isn't sitting well. I should have checked on her after patrol. If I would have, this might not have happened."

Leah listens to her brother talk. He's barely an adult, but here he was, looking after not only their mother but her as well. Even with Charlie in their lives, her baby brother has taken to the mantel of looking after their family. Not only their human family, but there pack as well. He was the custodian to so many people, and yet, he had barely live or been out of the Reservation.

"It's not your fault, Seth."

He nods at her words, but she knows he takes no comfort in them.

.

With her mother being kept at the hospital for at least a week's observation, Leah makes several calls. She needs to meet with the council, or at least those currently residing in the helm. Having her mother... incapacitated momentarily gives her the opportunity she needs. The opportunity and audience.

.

"Don't just stand there, girl. Give me a hug," Billy Black jostles as he opens the door to find her nervously standing on the porch.

Leah complies, hugging the man tightly. In most way she would always consider Billy an uncle, regardless of genetics, but given her unnatural - _fascination_ \- to his son, she has refused to use the title ever since she'd come into her teen years.

"I've missed your face. How long has it been?" He grins, pushing back to allow her into the house.

"A while," she muses, her eyes smoothly running around the house she fondly remembers.

.

_Leah fumbles with the smooth parchment under her thumb as she stares at the red door. _

_She can still feel the scowl drawn on her mouth from her earlier meeting with the blonde leech on the treaty line. The stink of the bitch is still crawling over her skin and she wants to retch, feeling the burn of her sweet scent at the back of her throat._

_Walking into the house she can hear the sharp movements of the wolf inside the small bedroom at the back of the house. The scent of him fills her nostrils, replacing the vampire stink, and she has to press her mouth shut to stop herself from greedily enjoying it. It's darker, muskier than when he left, and she imagines how he might look, how heartbreak would have changed him; for better or worse. _

_She stands at the end of the hallway just past the kitchen, shoulder jammed into the frame, arms crossing over her chest as she waits for him to realise he isn't alone. _

_It's her who catches sight of him first, dressed in jeans and a white button down. The sleeves are rolled to his elbows, the material clinging, his figure filling the clothes well. As expected a dangerous demeanour pulses from him, more like a wild animal than an angry human. His hair is longer, his face harder and more angular, but it's his size that truly surprises her. When he left LaPush, ran from the reality they were all currently living, he was barely pushing 6'4. _

_But now - now he's much larger, than even Sam._

_A growl catches the air as his gaze lands on her. _

_Her teeth bite her bottom lip, not out of nerves, but rather delight. Flicking the parchment in between her thumb and index finger, she dangles the hand written note like bait, willing her prey closer._

_"The blonde one asked me to give this to you. I haven't read it... or burnt it." she says coolly, mumbling the last part before motioning for him to take the paper._

_His scent, ever stronger, bites against her senses, as he stomps up the hallway and snatches the paper. His eyes are narrowed, reading fast._

_Leah hates the silence, so she tries to fill it. _

_"Leech face left her at the altar. Cold, if you ask me."_

_She's never expected anything from Jacob Black but his next words leave her reeling._

_"At least she got further than you."_

_A hiss escapes her mouth._

_"Leah-"_

_"Don't," she growls, holding a hand up to silence him. "Just don't, Jacob."_

_"I didn't mean to-"_

_"Nice to know you haven't changed. Welcome back, asshole."_

_._


	13. Chapter 13

An: I appreciate all y'all, from reviews to alerts. Stay safe over the holidays. xx

[ XIII ]

.

Billy Black has watched Leah Clearwater grow up on the Quileute Reservation. He remembers her birth, her first birthday, her first missing tooth and her first day of school.

Her father had been one of his closest childhood friends, and throughout the years, the most significant, though small, milestones had been shared not only amongst their own lives, but their children's lives too.

Their daughters had been sisters for so long, and now, their sons were brothers thanks to the gene they had carried down from their grandfathers.

Billy has watched Leah for years. Not out of a sense of duty to his now deceased friend, but because it was the right thing to do.

Especially when the Clearwater's were considered - _family_.

But now, looking at the pensive girl in the chair in front of him has him asking why he didn't do more. _Know_ more. Be there for her, in every way an uncle or father should. Had he allowed her down this path of no redemption? Was he also to blame? How could he have _not_ seen the consequences of allowing the Cullen's to weasel their way back to Forks? Of Leah falling under the same spell Isabella Swan had once been enthralled under?

"And you're sure that... the... Cullen male is the... father?"

He winces as he asks, a notion he can't help. He had always hoped something more would have transpired between Leah and his only son Jacob, the true Alpha and Chief of LaPush. But here she sits, pregnant with a creature that by all accounts should have not been allowed to exist in nature.

"Yes," she breathes, her fingers tying knots around the hem of her sweater.

"Leah," he sighs sadly, disappointment rife in his tone and demeanour.

The silence is thick between them, the absence of Old Quil meaning that Billy is the charge for this decision. On _behalf_ of the council.

"Does your mother know?"

The girl shakes her head.

"I see." Billy responds, scratching his chin. "And you wish to... _keep_... the child?"

"I never ever thought this could happen. But now it has..."

She's tongue-tied and nervous. Not the confident, out-spoken young woman Billy has come to know. With her father's stubbornness and her mother's temper, Leah had been born from the fires of love, and thrown straight into a hell of her own destiny.

"I understand. But you know I _cannot_ approve of this, Leah. For hundreds of years, it has been the tribe's way to _protect_ life. But this... can I risk the lives of the tribe for the life of _one_ child? _Your_ child? What interest will this birth bring to the vampire lords? The pack barely made it out last time and you..." He takes a breath, signing as he goes. "Honey, what would your father say to all of this?"

She ceases her ministrations, her fingers going still against the navy of the wool. Instead of crying, like a scolded child would, Billy is surprised to see her square her shoulders and lift her chin, to look directly into his eyes. She is a wolf, whether she is a woman or not, and she knows her rank, whether his son Jacob acknowledges it or not. She is an Alpha Female, and she has the backing of her brother and the pack to prove it.

"My father wouldn't have to _say_ anything_, _Billy. Because I _know_ he would do _anything_ to protect me, or Seth, or his grandchildren - even if they are only have Quileute."

Billy purses his lips in thought.

"I will accept punishment, but I will not allow you to punish an innocent child."

"Calm down, girl. I wish you or your young no harm." He scolds her gently. "There is no way this secret can ever be kept without sacrifices. To enable secrecy, the truth must remain hidden to the tribe and the elders. You must distance yourself from this child, for its protection. For _your_ protection and your people's protection. If that is done, this will stay between us and your pack brothers. Do you understand?"

Leah blinks slowly, the annotations running through her mind.

She would need to keep the child secret.

"Yes, I understand."

.

Edward finds a note on the porch, written in chicken scratch.

_'If this is an apology, you can keep it.'_

He eyes the dark SUV critically, before snatching the key-less device and jumping in the vehicle. Her scent, still potent in the area, lingers under his nose as he makes his way to the entrance of the drive.

It only takes minutes to find her on the side of the road, her figure in the distance coming into view the closer he gets.

She's walking as if she has not a care in the world, hands tucked into the jumper, the ends of her jeans and sneakers soaked from the cold drizzle of rain and mud. Her hair is tied up, bouncing from side to side, her chin down, watching her feet. Even though she is not completely human, she seems fragile, as if she were a precious gem that could crack any moment. He knows the thought is ludicrous considering the woman's strength to survive, but she was just so... _significant_.

Edward feels his stomach clench as he drives past her and pulls into the muddy ditch, hoping from the car and slamming the door behind him.

"What are you doing?" he almost shouts. His voice is free of malice, but it's stern.

She lifts her head to glare at him, her brow lifting when he growls in response. Her hazel eyes glitter in the afternoon light, sheer determination and defiance flitting across them.

"You could get sick out here, fall and hurt yourself, god forbid, be kidnapped."

She rolls her eyes and continues walking past him.

"_Leah_."

"I'm not _her_, Edward," the woman throws back as she walks ahead.

He knows Leah is referring to Isabella, and his innate tendencies to coddle the human when they had been together.

"I know that," he sighs as he catches up to her brisk walk. "Can you just listen?"

He moves to grab her elbow, but he's a fool for thinking she's losing her speed or her sense of self-preservation. Before he can touch her, she catches his wrist and turns quickly, making his arm bend at an awkward angle as she flicks her body around his, as elegant as any dancer.

"Careful, Edward." she whispers, the heat of her breath drifting across his ear. "I can still hold my own."

"If you're going to break my arm, _do it_," he tells her seriously, not caring either way.

She snorts, releasing his wrist and shoving him forward a little.

He rubs his wrist as he turns to look at her, her almond eyes now sparkling with passionate indifference.

"I don't doubt you can hold your own. I don't doubt _you_. It's other people I don't trust, Leah. People who see a pregnant woman on the side of the road who they wish to take advantage of."

"Sure," she shrugs as she goes to move around him.

"Leah, I know this is going to take work. For you to trust me again. And I promise that the car was a stupid idea, but it was not meant to offend you. I just want to... make sure you're comfortable. All things considered."

The wind blows around them softly, picking up the stray strands around her face. She looks beautiful, just like that.

_Messy, enchanting, elegant, wild._

"I want us to... be friends again. I want to be there for you, Leah. No matter the outcome."

Leah's laugh is short and sharp, intended to hurt.

_Self-preservation._

"Don't kid yourself, Edward. Contrary to belief, we were _never_ friends."

Her admission hurts but he remembers Irina's words.

_'Wouldn't you rather spend the last days with her, even if it had an expiry?'_

"That's not true. We _are_ friends and... I... _care_... for you, whether you want to admit it or not. I'm here, Leah. Remember that. I came back. Not for myself, but for _you_. So whenever you need me, whenever you're willing to except my apology, I'll be here."

.

When Seth arrives home he finds his sister kneeling on the porch stairs, swinging a hammer wildly at nails to fix the top step that has been in need of repair for months.

He just about phases on the spot as he disarms her.

"Are you insane? Give me that. You're _freaking_ pregnant. You can't go around fixing old wooden steps. You're going to need a tetanus shot. Look at that rusted steel underneath," He huffs, tucking the hammer into the back of his cargo shorts. "Shit, sis."

"I'm pregnant, not disabled. Give me my damn hammer back."

"This is _my_ damn hammer, not yours. Here, sit." He almost laughs as he turns her around and helps her sit.

He takes a seat by her, leaning back slightly so his elbows catch the porch.

"Bad day?" He asks, taking in her huffy behaviour and the semi-scowl on her mouth.

"The usual," she smirks in that smart-arse kind of way that makes him want to kick her in the shin like when they were kids.

"Wanna talk about it?"

He can see the hesitation in her brown eyes, especially when they crease at the edges. She has their mother's eyes and he's always been intimidated by them.

"How about I tell you about my day, and then you can tell me about yours. But - let's do it over dinner. Paul brought fresh elk over last night and I'm starving."

The smiles he gives her is from his catalogue of days from the old Seth.

The young, innocent, naive Seth.

He knows he is none of those things now, but he humours her anyway.

For old times' sake.

.

The house smells of peppers, basil and game meat from the oven, and Leah can't help but slump against the high back of the couch as they wait.

She watches as her brother wanders into the living room from the kitchen, popping open a beer. At eighteen he's probably a little young to be so freely drinking, but she lets it slide. She supposes hanging around older men is the reason for most of the influence. She herself could pack away quite a few when all of the young people would come together and have bonfires.

"So - what's up with you? The pack?" She asks her brother as he takes a seat and places his feet on the coffee table.

"What's _not_ up with the pack? It's like fucking days of our lives. Sam's pissed at Paul because the idiot said something about the way Emily on Friday night at Kim's brothers engagement party. Jared is pissed because he doesn't have enough time with Kim in between patrol and training for the State Ranger Induction he has coming up. Embry's annoyed at Sam and his 'la-di-da imprint-trumps-every-other-relationship-on-the-planet'. Charlotte is annoyed at you because she hasn't seen you in a while and you dodged her at the hospital. Mom is doing better, but still asking for you. And well, Charlie is... Charlie."

Leah can't help but smile. "And what about you? How are you?"

He sighs, flicking the bottle top in the air before catching it and rolling it in his fist. "Me? I'm _great_."

She loves her baby brother, but she knows when he is lying. "Seth-"

"I know. A load of shit, right? It's fine though. I can take it, sis. Us Clearwater's are built from better stuff."

Her fingers reach out and she tugs at the sleeve of his shirt. "You're right. Dad would be proud of you, you know."

"Yeah," Seth agrees with a small smile, taking another sip. "So what's up with you?"

Leah tenses and wipes an open palm down her face. "I told Billy. And everything is going to hell."

"Really," her brother asks, his neck almost snapping to look at her as he shifts into a better position. "Why?"

"He made some really good points and... it's come to an ultimatum of sorts."

She focuses on her brother as she recalls the conversation, careful not to leave anything out. Billy isn't a difficult man, nor is he unclear. She knows this, Seth knows this. And while his advice, is just that, _advice_, it has always been fair and just, to all parties involved.

Being the leader of a people ensured he accounted for all sides of situations, and left his bias at the door.

Seth nods in parts, asks questions in others, but Leah knows he agrees with the old man. Even though he would fight if she disagreed and refused to comply, Billy was right in his assessment.

Which just makes everything a million times worse.

.

When she lays in her bed at night, she stares at the ceiling, arms raised over her head, hands tucked behind her hair.

Her legs feels restless as she kicks off the sheet, the large t-shirt exposing her underwear and half the bump. She chews her bottom lip between her teeth wondering how in the hell she was going to do - exactly what she needed to do.

There were options of course, but they seem even less favourable.

She could give the baby to the Cullen's, have them take it away. But it would be half human, and they were vampires. Could they care for a child? What if it didn't warm to their frigid skin, what if they couldn't feed it because they had no idea what a child required as nourishment? What if giving the child to them made it an even bigger target for the Volturi? Demetri had met the Cullen's and could easily 'check in' on them using his gift. Would he discover the child? Would he wonder what they were up to? Would Aro want the child to add to his sick collection of gifted creatures?

She could give it up for adoption, maybe drive a few states over, and give it to a family or leave it in a church so that all ties to her were broken.

The simple prospect makes her sick, the thought of leaving something that shared her blood, a child that might have her eyes, her father's eyes.

Leah rubs her eyes after she glances at the nearby clock.

It's late, or early, depending on how you look at it, and she can barely contemplate closing her eyes and resting.

She needs to figure this out.

Pulling on a pair of track pants, a rain jacket and her sneakers; she slips down the stairs and out the door.

.

Edward hears her before he sees her.

The moon is arched over the forest, beginning its descent, beaming rays of blue light through the ceiling-to-floor windows. The house sits in darkness except for where the light touches. Rooms are filled with shadows that creep along the walls, along the marble floors, until they suddenly vanish, giving way to the light.

Her thoughts are jumbled, but her steps are unusually heavy, prodding over damp leaves and debris.

He thinks he's prepare to see her step through the dense greenery, but just like she always has; she surprises him.

Even with the unusual sense of dress, she is radiant. The light cast from the moon washes over her, from crown to chin, exposing the flawlessness, not of her marred skin, but the flawlessness of her nature. Edward feels that familiar tug deep inside his chest, remnant of a heart which used to beat.

Leah Clearwater truly does belong in a realm all on her own.

.

She's dusts off the jacket, almost positive she's picked up hitch-hikers along the trek. Her damp shoes squeak as she slides them from her feet and kicks them to the side. Edward is watching her pensively, though she can tell he's almost... relieved that she's suddenly shown up in the middle of the deep night when normal people were sleeping soundly in their beds.

He doesn't say anything, just continues to watch, as she paces around the living space. Even though it's dark, she doesn't mind the absence of light. It calms her, gives her a feeling of comfort and of protection. In some ways, maybe even courage.

"I have... a decision to make. I thought I could do it alone, but... it feels..." she lets out a frustrated sigh. "It can't just be _my_ decision. Not if you are here, wanting to be... _here_."

Edward's brows draw down, confused at her mini rant.

"It's the baby."

Automatically his eyes move to her stomach. "Is something wrong? Is it hurting you? Should I call Carlisle?"

"No. It's not _hurting_ me. But - _look_. I told Billy _everything_. He knows you're the father. He's... _FUCK_! Why is this so damn hard!?"

Leah can't help but continue to pace, frustration making her cheeks heat with annoyance.

She almost jumps when Edward grasps her, halting her movements. She wants to fight against him, her nature still overpowering her nurture. But his cold arms box her in gently, as to not injure but rather soothe. Maybe it's all the built up stress, maybe it's all the time she's spending alone inside her own head, in her childhood home, but she slowly slips, embracing the gesture, slumping into him. Yes, he's a vampire, her mortal enemy, but he's also a person that cared for her, was _here_.

For her.

When Jacob left her in LaPush, left her for Bella Swan, it hurt more than she could ever describe. It was worse than losing Sam. It was like losing _Emily_ all over again. Someone she had confided in, someone who knew her inside out, someone who promised they would always be there. She knew when Jacob left, she couldn't allow herself to be present. She refused to watch her Alpha leave the pack, leave _her_, and be expected to wish him well with a woman that would never appreciate all that he was.

Sam Uley may have broken her heart, but Jacob Black had punched a fist sized hole through her soul.

"Please don't cry," Edward whispers against her ear. "I can't bare it."

She doesn't even realise she's soaking his sweater in silent tears.

"Tell me, Leah. Whatever it is, I'm here. Whatever it is, we can figure it out."

"I'm just so sick of having my choices taken away." She starts, wiping angrily at her face, while keeping her head against the vampire's chest. "Every time I choose a path, every time I make a decision, life seems to take pleasure in pulling the carpet out from under my feet."

Gentle fingers brush over her hair, and down her back, over and over again, asking her to continue.

"With Demetri alive, I can't keep the baby. _We_ can't. It's too much of a risk. To all of us. You know, I thought I could have this _one_ thing, even if I didn't have anybody else to share it with, it could have been mine. I've always wanted to be a mother, had always planned it. But now, I have to give this up. Be a martyr. Allow this child to grow up without me, because of _who_ and _what_ I am. Because of my genealogy, I wont get a family. Or a happy ending."

He pulls back to stare at her face, his index finger curling under her chin so she can look at him. His face is washed with uncertainty, as if he is contemplating life and death. There is sorrow there as well, as if he is hurting for her, for the unfairness of it all.

She expects him to speak, to comfort her with words, but instead he dips down and presses his lips to hers.

When he kisses her, she can feel the cold move across the tip of her tongue to the insides of her cheeks. He's tentative, soft, even when she begins to demand hard and fast. Her fingers twist against the cashmere of his sweater, desperately clasping. His firm tall figure cuts like a blade, pressing against the warm, supple flesh of her ever changing shape.

She breathes heavily through her nose, whining at the thought of ever stopping, of not getting enough.

She wants him to make her forget, pretend there isn't a huge anvil hanging over them, waiting to fall and destroy them both.

His fingertips run from the swell of her hips, up and under her clothes to her waist. Her body shivers in anticipation, ice like fire shooting over every nerve ending and bringing it alive. The nature of her wolf means she is on edge, jittery with nervous energy, wild and alert. Her senses are heightened, firing warnings along her synapses and each part of flesh he seeks out.

Her breath falters when he tips her chin up higher, and kisses down the column of her neck, pressing his mouth delicately on her pulse point.

The kiss forces her to grab his shoulders as leverage, her body clinging and bending to fit against his as best as it can with her bump.

"I'm here-"

Edward's voice is like honey, dripping against her skin.

But he knows what she wants.

As blasé and as aphasic as he pretends he is, he has come to know her body.

A little more each time.

A little better.

"- and I'll move heaven and earth if you ask it of me. I swear it."

.


	14. Chapter 14

[ XIV ]

.

He lays in the darkness, listening to the strong beat of her heart and her steady breaths.

He fears shifting will awaken the sleeping beauty beside him so he lays as still as a sentinel, his fingers gently playing with the tips of her dark hair as she remains tucked against him. The new scent she now eludes causes his throat to tighten and his saliva to increase. Swallowing hard, he blinks rapidly before looking down, shifting his fingers to trail against the scars covering her skin.

He wants to frown at her position, back pressing into his side, facing away from him, but still tucked as close as possible. Was it her subconscious way of showing him that she doesn't quite trust him, that she was still closed to his advances, that she doesn't want him as much as he seemingly wants her?

Or was it that she was showing him just how much she _did_ trust him, trust him to see her and her assumed flaws, allowing him to protect everything behind her, including her past, to keep her up, to stop her from falling?

Reciting his earlier words inside his head, he doesn't understand his infatuation, having promised Leah far more than he's ever promised anyone.

More than even Bella.

And it's not just the words of his promise, but the determination to fulfil each and every one of those words. He wasn't able to keep his promises to Bella, but he'll be damned if he doesn't do everything to keep them to Leah. For, Leah.

His stomach cramps with a strange realisation.

Cramps enough to make him stir, and alert the woman next to him.

She doesn't move however; doesn't show any signs she is awake, except for the uptake in her heart beat. He holds what little breath he has, afraid that her waking will break the cocoon they have forged and found themselves in. There is exponential proof that Leah is in two minds over the whole situation, and he would not risk pushing her to... commit to anything long term or anything set in stone.

Especially not anything to do with the relationship between them.

Gently, her heart slows again, and just like that, Edward knows there is no place he would rather be.

.

Jacob wakes suddenly, his whole body tensing, sweat congealing on his brow.

He blinks away the darkness several times, aiming to slow his rapidly beating heart, before checking on the girl beside him.

She's still asleep, chocolate coloured hair swept over half her face, undisturbed by the jerk of his body that has him sitting upright in bed. The ceiling fan buzzes as it continues to push hot air around the small bedroom, the dryness of it feeling as though his chest is being squeezed.

He climbs from the bed, moving toward the window.

As quietly as possible he pushes the old frame up, expelling the stuffy dry heat and allowing the slightly cooler air to invade the bedroom.

Pressing his palms against the sill he takes a deep breath, then another, before walking back to the side-table and snagging his phone off the charger.

His dream had been strange, almost undecipherable. It had been a mumbled mix of voices, of darkness, of the pitch black forests of the Olympic Peninsula and a fire that burned so hot his skin felt like it would melt.

But there was one glowing fact that he had managed to catch before free falling and bolting upward, out of the dream.

He dials a familiar number, trying for the third time in as many months, however, instead of using the land line, he's calling off his cell. This way, there will be no doubt of whose calling, and of who had called on several previous occasions and had not been man enough to leave an actual message. His wolf longs for the pack, but there is one in particular, one it pines over and huffs when he refuses to give into the urge to run across states just to see how she is.

"Come on, damn it," he mumbles as he slips out of the bedroom and heads toward the kitchen, pushing his hair off his forehead. "Pick up, Leah."

.

A pulse of light pulls Edward away from his thoughts.

It's flashing, over and over again, nestled amongst the pile of clothes that had been discarded on the floor. He knows he shouldn't, knows that if Leah thinks he's overstepping she might not ever trust him, but his curiosity pulls on him. And then his worry.

What if it were an emergency? Her mother? Brother? The pack?

He reaches for the device, flipping it over.

Edward has always tried to be better than himself, tried to help, and heal and forgive. Tried to be the bigger person, tried to make the right choice.

But, for his own selfish reasons he waits for the call to stop -

and then deletes the calls existence from the log.

.

When Leah wakes, a square cut of parchment paper sits atop the side table, awaiting her attention.

The handwriting is cursive and elegant and as she snatches it, she can't help but run her fingers over the ink. It's dry, but she can feel the cool touch the writer leaves behind.

_ ~ When you wake, your presence is requested in the kitchen ~_

She sighs into the pillow, dropping the note and stretching out atop the linen. It's dangerously soft and Leah kind of hates that the Cullen's own sheets like this, let alone the existence of such heavenly materials. She misses her room in the house for the sheets alone, the same room that had brought her and Edward closer than any woman has ever had him. She wants to scowl at her stupidity, but the scent of cinnamon distracts her thoughts as it wafts from somewhere deeper in the house.

The clothes she had arrived in last night are laundered and sit on the dresser near the ensuite door causing her to roll her eyes. Edward Cullen has a certain way about him, an old fashioned type of way that catches her off guard at the best of times. His thoughtfulness seems weighted however, casting silent explanations even when answers weren't asked of him. He is from a different time, has different values, and Leah tries her best to remember as such. He isn't the same as the youthful exuberance his physical looks give off, he's older, far older than contemplation. She knows if given the choice, she wouldn't want to live forever, no matter the circumstances. Her wolf gene allowed her extended life, but one day, she would fall asleep, wrinkles on her face and a life she hopes well lived, and never wake. He doesn't have that choice, but the way his eyes haunt her, she knows he wishes for the promise of a peaceful end eventually, just like her.

Pulling herself from the bed, she meanders across the carpet, dragging her fingertips from the cream walls of the bedroom to the dark grey tiles of the bathroom. She's never been in Edward's bathroom and she can't help but inspect the benches and drawers tucked away beneath the double vanity with a curious eye. There's not much to investigate, he is a male after all, but the odd fascination of scenting and inspecting everything has her in knots. 'Nesting' Seth had called it when she'd arranged the better half of their house, and she _almost_ stops herself from re-folding and arranging a few face washers. She doesn't think it matters to him, but it does matter to the nagging voice inside her mind telling her that the colour arrangement is all wrong.

"There," she mumbles to herself, fixing the folded edges, before closing the drawer lightly.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she replies dismissively, before turning to him. "But I thought I'd use your shower if that's okay."

He nods.

She hadn't smelt him but he knows his heavy purposeful footsteps would have alerted his presence. She expects him to stare, but his gaze never leaves her face. It's disconcerting, considering she's standing in his bathroom completely nude.

He's not fairing much better in the naked department but he does at least have loose cotton pyjama pants on. His physique is so unlike the wolves' usual wide and muscled form, and it's something she doesn't believe she will ever get used to. He's tall and lean, but there's brilliant definition in his torso and shoulders. Her eyes travel over him unabashedly, and by the time she looks back at his face, a familiar smirk sits on his mouth, one dark brown brow lifted ever so slightly.

The longer the silence drags on, the more electrified she can feel the room becoming. She can feel herself flooding with warmth, her blood warming under his eyes. It's a unique feeling, one which had slowly developed between them from the beginning. It's a feeling that coils at the base of her spine, before it creeps along each nerve ending. It's similar to an ache, but it's not necessarily physical. It feels deeper, more hidden, than just natural attraction because she is _obviously_ attracted to him, in some weird unconventional way. Not just by the way he looks, but by the way he is.

"Thank you," he replies gently, blinking at her affirmation of thoughts.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," she almost laughs, embarrassed that her loud _mind_ won't shut the hell up around a mind reader.

"Nevertheless," he begins, before the urge he's held, slips. His nostrils flare and his normally amber coloured eyes darken as they drop away from her face; to her neck, then collarbones, then down, down all the way to her toes and back up again.

She doesn't need to move, not when he takes several large strides towards her.

She's in his arms, being swept off her feet, mouths fused before she can even blink.

Her body shudders at his cool touch, but she needs more and wraps her legs tighter around his waist.

It's desperate; her hands in his hair tugging violently, his shoulders flexing, hands cupped under her thighs, keeping her just as close.

She groans into his mouth, as he walks them both into the large shower, pressing her back against the cool tiles. She shivers, one hand moving down his neck, to his shoulder and then back, pressing their chests together. She knows they need to talk, knows they need to discuss what Billy had said, what the old man had offered her. But she pushes that to the back of her mind.

She wants to enjoy this, just a little bit longer.

With his hips pressing against her, he moves a hand, dragging it up from her waist to her breast. He cups her there, his thumb brushing over her sensitive skin. It's maddening, so much so she needs him even closer to dissipate the ache that's causing pockets of fire inside herself. She doesn't even notice the water from the waterfall shower head falling over them, doesn't really give a shit if they both drown in it.

She reaches down, struggling to push the wet cotton from his body. It isn't till he places her back on her feet that she's able to get a better handle on things. Water pools in his lashes as he blinks, watching her intently. Her fingers skim across the band of the cotton when she notices the heat from the water changes the temperature of his skin considerably. It's almost as if she's touching-

"Don't you dare compare me to a wolf," he whispers, having read her mind. His palm cups her cheek before his fingers slide into her wet hair. He tilts her head back by fisting her nape, his mouth only mere millimetres from jaw. When he presses his mouth to her skin she shifts to give him better access to her throat, allowing his lips to drag over the column of her neck.

"I was going to say _brother_." She chuckles in amusement, goading him.

It wasn't like she was actively touching other wolves, in a platonic manner or not, to be able to compare it to anyone but the one wolf she lived with.

He laughs as well, the sound vibrating against her skin. "That's far worse. Please don't think of your brother while I bed you. It's highly offensive to my sense of self and fragile ego."

She can't help but grin at his playfulness.

"Trust me, that's the last thing on my mind right now."

.

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you like this," he whispers as he hovers over her, nudging her knees further apart with his own.

After a wicked show of skills by the woman's mouth, he needs to have her under him, needs to feel her warm skin simmering against his, her heart pressing against his chest. He imagines his own heart, beating in sync with hers, imagines there's more than nothingness inside him.

Regardless, he is highly aware of the fact that her stomach is no longer flat, and in its place is a bump, one that contains precious cargo. He is at odds with the situation, still has difficultly hiding his despair, but this was something she wanted, this was a decision that was hers, not his. Esme had called days before, and as it went on, it became quite obvious they were having two different conversations. Ultimately she had made her point though, and he couldn't fault her explanation.

_'This will hurt, Edward, but it is not your choice. You are only there to make sure Leah has whatever she wants and needs. Don't be the one that destroys everything before it even has a chance to grow. Fate is not set in stone, and neither is the future.'_

"Where did you go just now?" Leah asks from below him, placing her palm against his chest.

Pressing his elbow deeper into the mattress, he places his mouth over hers and kisses her slowly. "Nowhere. Now just lay back."

She whines when he moves away, moving to place a lazy kiss on her shoulder, then lower.

"_Nooo_. Come back. You're not going to hurt me." Leah complains, but he has other ideas.

"Shhh. I'll be back. Let me enjoy this."

He languishes her body, allowing his mouth to taste each plane of her skin. Her kisses each freckle, each beauty mark, each scar and then rolls his tongue around the pebbled flesh of her breast. He knows her areas of arousal by warmth alone. Her neck, just under her ear, her breasts, the apex of her thighs. It's like a map, directing him to secret places on her body that only lovers know. That only _he_ now knows. A tight ball of jealousy builds in his stomach, twisting wicked thoughts in his head. He wants this, _her_. He doesn't want to share, doesn't want anyone touching what was his.

As soon as the warm slick heat between her legs touches his tongue, he groans. The sharp sting of her long fingers yanking his hair urges his enthusiasm. He drags his tongue flat, before his lips nibble and caress the bundle of nerves that is causing her to tighten her grip. He knows he's in the right spot, and just to see her lose control, he eases two fingers into her depths.

The sounds she makes, the way her body pushes up, the heat; it's all telling him this is _exactly_ what she wants _and_ needs.

.

Sunlight pools in the bedroom with the blinds drawn back, and she stills on her knees to watch the technicolour sparkle of his skin. Where her skins soaks in the sun, his reflects it. Each movement creates a new centre point of colour. It's not blinding but is rather distracting. When she looks to his face, his brows are angled down, bottom lip drawn into his slender mouth. She sinks lower, allowing him to be completely sheathed inside her, before arching just a fraction.

He lets out a frustrated breath. "You're torturing me."

She grins as she leans forward, placing her hands over the diamond caress of his chest. "Now you know how it feels."

With his hands on her hips, he urges her to move, but she locks her knees at his side. "Uh uh ah." she tisks, "It's my turn."

"Leah," he pleads desperately as she squeezes him.

Hearing her name from his lips incites a butterfly affect in her lower stomach. She wants to blame it on the being that grows inside her, but there's something else. Her name coming from his mouth sounds _right_, even though _this_ is _terribly wrong_.

Dread freezes her muscles and she has the sudden urge to run. To hide.

Edward reaches up, pulling free several ends of her hair that are stuck near her mouth. He rubs his thumb across her cheek, then over her lips, easing her anxiety. She knows he can hear her thoughts, knows how she's feeling, but she does nothing but watch him. He sighs as he moves to sit up, one hand holding her lower back to keep them joined. It's an awkward position but when he adjusts them so her legs wrap around his waist, it feels far more comfortable. Leaning forward he presses his mouth against hers, gently coxing her out of her thoughts, attempting to bring her back.

She gasps and presses her forehead against his when he brings his knees up, allowing a more stable position.

His hands move up and down her back, working her muscles.

"This isn't wrong." He whispers, kissing her again.

"I just-" her words fall short. She reaches out, brushing two fingers from the apple of his cheek to his jaw line. "My whole life has changed so quickly."

He nods, easing his palms under her thighs. "I know." He takes a breath. "Fear drove me away from here, but it also brought me back. I couldn't live with myself, with what I had done to you, but being away from you was too hard. I'm not that strong."

She leans forward and wraps her arms around his shoulders, easing up and back over him. His fingers tighten, helping guide her movements.

"I used to be," she stutters, feeling the sharp blunt push of him inside her. "Nothing use to touch me. But now-"

With their faces so close, she breathes in each of his exhales, and he, hers. It's slow, intimate, and dark, even in the morning light. Every part of her feels slick and loose and she can't help but tighten her hold on him, the need to feel him closer driving her mad. She can feel unexplained tears prickle in her eyes and she feels exposed, stupid and vulnerable.

"I'm here, Leah," he assures her. "I'm here."

.

It's mid-afternoon when Edward ventures into the kitchen, the baked cinnamon scrolls on the kitchen island now long forgotten. He'd asked for the recipe from Esme during their brief conversation, not really knowing when or why he would make such a thing. She had been ecstatic and had quickly given him hints and tips on how to make them perfect. A human urge to poke the melted sugar and place it against his lips curls inside his gut, so he does exactly that. It's sweet, far too sweet and he pulls a face as he wipes his hand on a dishcloth.

"I thought I could smell those," Leah says as she strides into the kitchen, moments behind him. Her hair is swept to the side, showing off her neck as his white tee hangs off her, exposing a shoulder. She darts around him, taking a seat at the island and snags one of the scrolls. "Oh my god, you cooked these?"

Her voice is full of awe and it makes his chest warm with pride. He nods, laying the towel down on the bench and moves behind her, wrapping his arms around her mid-section. It's both fascinating and slightly morbid, watching her eat, but it's his hands that hold most his attention. He lays them against her bump, their bump, and gently strokes it over the material of his shirt. He's promised himself to find a way to connect with not just her, but with the reason she may die. It's hard loving something that could quite possibly take away the one thing in his life that made just an inch of sense anymore. He doesn't know how he could love it if it did take her away from him, how he could look at it and not feel malice, disgust or contempt. He doesn't know how he could-

When Leah's hand presses over his and moves down, he feels that fluttering tap against his palm, the same he'd felt on the pier in Bruceport. It can't help but notice the way she smiles into the scroll, enjoying it thoroughly as she licks her lips.

"May I?" he asks as he turns the stool.

When she's facing him, hand laden with goodies, she watches him with dark eyes as he gets to his knees in front of her. He strokes her calf as he leans forward, placing his ear to the bump. Her fingers thread through his hair as he listens intently, hoping to pick up something more than a flutter. The thrum of a fast, barely there, heartbeat echoes in his ears.

He closes his eyes, concentrating.

He can't hear thoughts, but he can hear something more. Or at least feel it. It's warm, like a gentle breeze, liquefying in his veins. He can smell summer rain, and peonies, along with the salt of the Pacific Ocean. But it's not coming from Leah, it's coming from inside her.

"It's a boy," he says gently, before feeling the half eaten scroll drop on his head and then to her feet. He glances up, looking at the shock on her face.

"Bullshit. There is _no way in hell_ you know that." she threatens, placing her hands on her stomach. "You heard _him_?"

He smiles as he picks up the scroll to toss in the bin. "I didn't hear him. It's just a... feeling."

He can see the doubt in her eyes, so he offers her another scroll by pushing the plate forward. She grumbles to herself before grabbing two more scrolls. She hesitates, looking up, but takes them both anyway. "I'm eating for two, you know."

The way she says it makes him chuckle as he packs the others away into a container and slips it into the fridge. "Of course. Would you like milk or juice?"

"Hmmm," she hums, crumbles of dried sugar landing on her uncovered thighs. "Juice please."

Pouring her a glass, he places it on the bench besides her, then slides into a stool. He leans forward, to kiss her shoulder, and finds himself content in just watching her, enjoying the quiet, peaceful moment between them.

.

A few days later Leah finds herself in Fork's Diner, searching the menu to quench her insatiable need for food. She can't help the scowl that covers her mouth, having come from Carlisle and Esme's home after another round of observations and tests. Of course, Edward had been right. A boy. The baby was a boy. Carlisle had told her as calmly as possible, but she could see the unbound joy in his eyes. However, as he continued to talk, it had slowly slipped away. Male Dhampir's were historically venomous he had said, and she knew the Quileute males also inherited the shape-shifter gene. Once again, the two were at odds with each other, but the doctor had assured her that _if_ the foetus were venomous, she would likely be immune while the child remained in her womb. After, however-

"Seth told me," Charlotte blurts.

Leah lowers the menu and raises her brows.

"About the baby," the girl continues, nervously twisting a napkin in her hands. Her curls bounce as she speaks, making her look far younger than she is. "He didn't want to, but I knew something was up. I hadn't seen you for weeks, then I find out from Embry that you'd disappeared and just magically showed up again out of nowhere? I threatened to go to your mother, so Seth really had no choice. You shouldn't blame him."

Even though she wants to be angry, she can't be. Of course, handing the mantle over to her brother meant he could get around the Alpha command she had laid out to the pack. She laughs instead.

"It's fine. As long as you feed me, I can't stay angry."

_Oh, but Seth was going to die the next time she was hungry. She might even eat him just for kicks._

.

Edward frowns as he listens to Alice chastise him once again.

"I know something is going on, Edward. I can feel it in my bones. First you disappear from my visions, then Carlisle and Esme too. I have half a mind to come and crash your little party just to find out what you're withholding from me. It's not right. We're family, Edward. Don't you trust me, that's it isn't it? You don't trust me!"

Alice is just about frantic when he interrupts.

"Ali, you know I trust you. But you need to trust that what I am doing is for me to know; me and only me."

She whimpers, "I just want to protect you. And I can't do that if I can't see you."

"I know and I have always appreciated you for that."

A wave of silence falls over them until she speaks again. "There have been whispers from Italy. The Volturi remains fractured, but I don't believe they have finished with Washington."

He stiffens, recalling the carnage not nearly three months ago. He had been on the end of it, and the bodies had been scattered up the peninsular.

"Aro has locked himself away in a tower, mourning those he lost. He's still heart broken, Edward, but when that heartbreak turns to rage, to revenge-"

"I will make sure it doesn't come to that Alice. Aro still respects that which I can offer him."

It's a foolish thing to say, to imply that he would willingly replace a fallen compatriot in the Volturi's guard if he had no other choice. He's not sure if he would, unless those that he loved were in imminent danger. He could bargain with the Volturi leader, offer him the use of his capabilities, if nothing else. It would at least stave off a war with the wolves in LaPush, placating Aro if only for a moment. But a moment in vampire years could stretch to a century, as long as he remained useful and compliant.

"That's what I'm afraid of! You can't, Edward. Tell me you won't. Nothing is worth that! Nothing is worth giving up what's left of your soul!" His sister shouts into the phone, begs and pleads. "Promise me!"

He sighs, closing his eyes. "I miss you, Alice. Please give Jasper and the others my love."

Before she can protest further, he ends the call.

Evading Alice is becoming harder and harder, and he has an inkling something would have to give, sooner or later.

.

"Did you ever cook for, Bella?" Leah asks as she fiddles with the cutlery before her.

It's such an odd question, one that makes a tiny pang hit his chest, but he answers. "No. Esme did the cooking while my family were here. I had to ask for some recipes because I didn't have a clue where to start. I've read some books in pregnancy nutrition, but I'm still not sure I'm getting it right."

The fact that he is reading pregnancy books throws her for a loop by the way her eyes widen. "What books?"

He gestures his chin to the side table in the living room. "While you were with Carlisle, Esme handed them to me."

The corner of her mouth pulls into a smirk. He had graciously allowed the check-ups to remain private but he at least had been in range. He'd heard their discussions, between her and his father, had remained in case she needed him at any stage. It wasn't easy for him, him and his guilt, but he was taking steps. Baby steps. To be there. For her. Regardless.

"That's... kind of sweet." she murmurs, drawing circles on the empty plate.

"I am trying to keep an open mind. Even though I have several degrees in medicine, times have changed. There are always new things to learn." He explains, scooping the pasta from the pan. It's lathered with a fresh sauce made from organic tomatoes, basil, peppers and Italian sausage. He'd spent over forty minutes staring at the array of food in the store, finally deciding on the meal he would prepare. "Parmesan?"

She shakes her head, ready with her fork, eyes lit up like the fourth of July. It makes him feel important, feel needed, to be able to provide for someone other than himself. To forget selfish mannerisms, and give with an open heart and a warm hand.

The silence stretches as he leans back, crossing his hands over his chest, watching her.

"I surely can't be that interesting?" Leah snorts, dripping some of the sauce onto her finger as she tries to twirl the spaghetti around the utensil.

"Allow me," he manages, gesturing for the fork. "They key is the spoon. You twirl the fork against the spoon and then-"

She opens her mouth as he raises the fork, slipping it between her lips. A smudge of sauce catches in the corner of her mouth, so he uses his thumb to brush it away.

"You are interesting, Leah. Very much so. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool."

Her cheeks pinken, but she doesn't rebuke his compliment.

.

"What do you think?" she asks as she tucks her legs to the side, revelling in the soft cushion of the couch.

Edward stoically sits on the coffee table in front of her, his hands sliding through his hair as his knees widen. He looks pained once again, and this time she shares in the feeling. She had replayed the meeting with Billy Black for him, tried to make sure she left nothing out. It felt as though they were playing with a double edged sword, one that would hurt no matter which way it landed.

"I think...," she holds her breath as he speaks, "I think that if you survive the birth," his face crumbles slightly, "that... I would like the chance to... provide. For the child. And for you. In any capacity you are comfortable with."

She lets out the breath and chews on her lip. Of all the things he could say, decide, this was not something she had been anticipating. It feels like she's experiencing a moment of deja vu, as if in another life she would have chewed him out, shouted how irresponsible he was being by saying that to her; filling her with a hope she wasn't allowed to feel. That in another life she would have walked out the door and made the decision for them both, just by her anger alone. That she would have given away the most important piece of herself, of them, to a stranger.

But - why should she have to give up her son. Their son. No one would be able to raise him, especially given his unique heritage. No one would be able to protect him the way both her and Edward could. Her heart squeezes in her chest at the thought. Would they have to leave? Run from LaPush just to spare her family and extended family the possible horrors the untold future held. She would have to give up the Alpha position permanently, be exiled from her people.

She loves the child inside her fiercely. And a mother would love even a monster. Her own mother is living proof of that fact.

She feels him take her hands in his own, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"If you are a monster, than so am I," he tells her gently. "I can't promise it will be easy, and I can't promise there aren't sacrifices we will both have to make. But I'm willing to try."

Raising her hands to his mouth he presses them to his mouth. "If you are."

.


End file.
